Question
I am in a serodiscordant couple, can we have children naturally?
16 May 2011. Related: All topics, Disclosure, Pregnancy, Support.
Hi,
I’m a mid-thirties male, four years diagnosed, three years treated (initially with Atripla, which then caused a rash so they moved me briefly to Kaletra and Truvada, before I insisted on a move back to Atripla). CD4 stable in the 450-550 range, VL less than 50 since three months after treatment started, health and well-being generally good.
For two and a half years, I have been increasingly involved with a girl who I love very much. Now, please don’t moralise to me on this next bit — I hadn’t told her of my status until last month, because the longer I left it, the harder it got to tell her. Suffice to say, she knows now, we’re still together, and although sometimes she understandably has difficult days. Also, she has been tested, she is negative.
So, I guess I’m writing for two reasons — firstly, she has previously mentioned wanting children, but we have since talked and agreed we’re not going to go down the sperm-washing route. I’ve read about the Swiss HIV Cohort Study — does anyone in this forum have any experience of serodiscordant pregnancy? Advice/observations/guidance very much appreciated.
Secondly, I’ve never had counselling. Previously, I railed against it — insisted I could get by on my own, insisted that I could cope. Now I find myself in a situation where the woman I love is obviously finding it difficult sometimes (although she’s a very stubborn, strong and independent woman), and I can’t help but think that counselling might be a good idea — for both of us. Can anyone suggestion how I go about bringing the subject up? Are there any specific groups that anyone can recommend (ideally in the Berkshire/Oxfordshire/Buckinghamshire area) for serodiscordant couples?
Thanks in advance.
Answer
Thank you for your question.
Telling someone you love about your status is never an easy thing to do. It is also something that many people only want to do when they really feel that their partner is someone very special who will love them no matter what. It is understandable that your partner finds it hard to deal with sometimes. She needs time to adjust and get used to the idea as well. Counselling is a good idea. The Terrance Higgins Trust offers a counselling service and which can provide support for you both.
As far as having children is concerned, Brighton and Birmingham hospitals have been running a pilot project for sero-discordant couples (male positive and female negative) wanting to conceive naturally. The results of this project were presented at a conference and can be seen here. There is a video of the presentation here (you will need to skip to the third presentation to watch the relevant one). You should ask your HIV doctor if they are able to either offer the same services or refer you both to these hospitals for the natural conception clinic.
The basic concept is that both partners are counselled separately and together. They are both tested to see if they are fertile. The male must have had an undetectable viral load for more than 6 months. Both partners should have no other STIs. The woman takes ARVs prior to unprotected sex to prevent infection and only has unprotected sex when she is at her most fertile. You should talk to your HIV doctor about this.
Hi Faith,
Yes you can have children and as long as your viral load is undetectable and your HIV is under control the risk of a baby being positive is minimal.
Am HIV + aged 19 ,will I be able to get a negative baby in future .
Hi Buttercup,
I’m sorry to hear of your husband’s terrible experience when he was a child. But it’s great that you were cool about his + status.
The answer to your question about wanting to conceive is: Yes you can have natural sex. I assume your husband is on successful HIV treatment (ART) and this is keeping his viral load undetectable at only 20 copies.
Successful ART is as effective as consistent condom use in stopping transmission and this is recommended for safe conception in the UK. Timed intercourse, when women are most fertile, is recommended for conception in couples that generally prefer to use condoms as well as ART. Occasionally PrEP might be recommended for the negative partner.
However, you can read more about Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U) here.
And there’s more info in this guide to HIV, pregancy and women’s health.
I met my now husband through his mom. We talked for maybe a month if that long onthe phone when he told me of his + status. He was violated by an unknown stranger when he was a young child and contracted the virus. He has been living with this for the past 15 yrs. When he told me, I was cool with it and continued the relationship. He has no children but we would like to have some very soon. His viral load is in the 20’s. My questons are can we have natural sex if we are wanting to conceive? Should I seek medical counsel for Truvada to protect myself and the health of my baby?
Hi George,
Angelina has already answered this question here. She says, ‘It is very common for someone to still be negative even if they have not been using condoms with someone who is HIV positive. HIV is quite a difficult virus to catch, so your negative result is also related to good luck.’
My partner tested positive after having sex with her then after 2 months i tested found negative.i it possible?
Hi George,
If your partner is taking HIV treatment (ART) and she has undetectable viral load this could be why you tested HIV negative. There’s more info here about U=U (undetectable=untransmittable)
am negative and slept with my partner who is positive and she bleeded during sex.i tested negt