Q and A

Question

How can my partner test HIV positive and I test HIV negative?

16 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV testing, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed, Sero different couples.

I went to test HIV with my partner.

I found out that she is positive and I was negative. After six months i went back I tested negative.

Please help as I don’t understand.

Answer

Answer: Simon Collins

Thanks for your question as your situation is very common.

Has your partner’s  positive HIV test been checked by a second test in a lab. All rapid tests, need a positive result to be confirmed. This is because of the small chance of a false-positive result.

If the second test (called “western blot”) is positive then your partner is definitely positive. In this case, how is your partner doing and does she have support?

Even if your partner is HIV positive, it is common for one person in a couple to test positive and the other negative. This can happen even if they have bot been using condoms. This is mostly just luck. Over time, most people will catch HIV if they continue to have sex without a condom.

Even though you have not caught HIV so far, you can still catch HIV in the future. Genetics may explain some cases of protection, but most are just down to luck and chance.

Now you know your partners HIV status, you can still stay together and have sex safely. Condoms or PrEP are both really effective at stopping HIV and not sharing needles.

Also, after your partner gets an undetectable viral load on treatment, the risk drops to zero – even without condoms. The PARTNER study reported no transmission with an undetectable viral load. this was after about 900 couple had sex 58,000 without condoms (over several years).

Note: This answer was updated in January 2018 and October 2014 from a question from June 2011. i-Base no longer answers individual questions about HIV transmission and risk. (See: Question 1, 5, 6 and 9 at this link).

335 comments

  1. Simon Collins •

    Hi Joan

    Your question is answered above. So far you have just been lucky. HIV transmission does;t happen every time people don’t use a condom. For example, each time the risk might only be 1 in 200. In this example, after having sex 200 times you would expect to become positive. However, no-one can say whether this will be on the first time, the 20th time or the 200th time.

    If your partner is HIV positive, this means there is a risk to you when you don’t use condoms. If you want to continue not using condoms, it would be better for your partner to start HIV treatment as this will reduce how infectious he will be.

    It must be difficult that one of you has HIV. Life is unlikely to get easier if you then both have HIV.

  2. joan •

    My partner and I been togther for 16 yrs had hiv test for life policy done. Mine was negative and his positive. That was 14 months ago. Every 3 months after that I go test again and still I’m negative till now. How can it be possible coz we are not using protection.

  4. lolla •

    How can a HIV positive person have a baby with a man that is negative?

  5. Rebecca McDowall •

    This is answered above and at this link

  6. DAVID •

    IS IT POSIBLE FOR MY WIFE TO BE HIV POSITIVE AND I NEGATIVE

  7. Simon Collins •

    This is answered above and at this link.

  8. lucky •

    My wife is positive and I am negative how did it happens because we we didn’t use a condom because we are married and second question is can I countinue without using a condom to her only.

  9. Simon Collins •

    It sounds like you have been lucky and are still negative.

    If you have had sex without a condom in the previous three month to the test, there is a small chance that you may be positive, and this would be a risk to your baby.

    The best way to check that you were not infected during this time is o have an HIV viral load test. If this is negative then you do not have HIv and there is no risk to your baby.

    You will need to use condoms from now on though.

    Your partner is likely to be very infectious until he starts treatment and his viral load becomes undetectable fro at least 6 months. With a CD4 count under 100 it is important that your partner starts treatment.

  10. Lee •

    I have been dating my partner for about 18mnths now.we have been practising unsafe sex.as we were planning fr a baby.our mistake was that I tested alone and all my tests came back negative.but last week we decided to test together and our baby is six weeks old.his test came back positive and mine negative.I even took bloods which still came back negative.we received his CD4 count yesterday and its 74 so should start taking medication.my question is can I be realy negative and because I’m breastfeeding my baby am I not exposing her to the virus.I am supportive towards him but I’m scared to even have sexual intercourse with him.what are the possibilities that I might be positive and all tests can’t pick up the virus