Hi<\/p>\n
Thanks for the question – lots of issues and not one answer…<\/p>\n
Firstly, undetectable viral load mean that your partner will not catch HIV, even if you don’t use condoms. I have not heard of this occurring under these circumstances.<\/p>\n
Secondly, I worry that you are with someone who won;t use condoms even if this is your choice. That is not good for you or showing respect for you.<\/p>\n
Thirdly, this is 2016 and if this person is not together enough to understand how HIV is no risk to him, then this is definitely good new for you or the partnership. You need to be with someone who values everything about you and who can get his head around HIV to be with you.<\/p>\n
Having said all this, I know the world isn’t alwasy an easy place and sometimes there are reasons to let someone get to know you a bit as a time, as you get more confident to trust them.<\/p>\n
One important caution, as your email said you are in the US, is that many US states have very serious laws against not telling partners that you are positive. The are cases where HIV positive people have been prosectuted even though viral load is undetectable.<\/p>\n
Perhaps see how the person responds to general discussion about HIV – next time something is in the news. you can use his reaction as a guide to whether youthink his views are open enough to change with time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Should I tell my new boyfriend about my HIV status as\u00a0I am undetectable?<\/p>\n
I am afraid he would not understand and he does not want to use condoms..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,23,36,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11546","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-topics","category-hiv-transmission","category-sero-different-couples","category-support"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11546","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11546"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11546\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24935,"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11546\/revisions\/24935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11546"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11546"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-base.info\/qa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11546"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}