Question
How do I tell my partner that I’m HIV positive?
7 November 2016. Related: CD4 and viral load, Disclosure.
I have a big problem and I need your help, I’m dating a guy who works in the government as a clinic office,but my problem is am HIV positive .I was born with it and I don’t know what to do. I’m scared to tell him about it because have slept with him already,and it scares me a lot to tell him cos the guy seems he loves me and I love him too,plz I need your advice,what should I do? Yours faithful
Answer
Thanks for getting in touch.
I appreciate that is can be hard to tell someone that you love about your HIV. More so if you are involved in a sexual relationship with that person.
There’s never an easy way to tell people. But if you see the relationship going forward you may need to tell him. As he works in a clinic he may have a good understanding about HIV.
Have you tried introducing the topic? If you are on treatment and have an undetectable viral load, then the risk of transmission are close to zero. As the recent PARTNER study illustrates:
https://i-base.info/htb/30108
This is perhaps something that you could introduce to him.
Hi Fikile, I am sorry that things are like this. Talking about HIV early on often still scares people away. This is even before they can learn about new treatment and U=U. Then if things go well and you like the person it feels like there is more to loose. It also gets more difficult the longer it goes – even though this person is at zero risk – and even though they are the just as responsible.
This link has a few ideas for ways that can help – but every situation will be different.
https://i-base.info/qa/26038
I hope everything goes well.