Q and A

Question

I’ve just found out my girlfriend is positive, I want to support her. What can I do?

I just found out that my girlfriend’s using ARV. But I don’t know how to ask her about it. I really love her and i want to support her to the situation.

Answer

Thanks for getting in touch.

Its great to hear that you want to support your girlfriend. And that you are concerned about her.

Because I don’t know either you, nor your girlfriend I can’t really tell you how to bring up the subject of HIV, or that you know. However, ¬†you could try by saying, that you’ve read something about HIV and that if you were in a relationship with someone who is positive that it wouldn’t be a problem. A kind of ice breaker. That may then encourage her to talk to you about her status. Being kind and understanding is important, as too is giving her some time to tell you her story. I say this as it can be hard for people to talk about their HIV. Also many people don’t talk about it for fear for losing someone that they care about.

2 comments

  1. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Sipho,

    What your wife is telling you is true. ARVs do boost and support the immune system of people who are living with HIV. Moreover, if taken correctly and for at least 6 months they act as a form of protection when having sex. For more on the risks of transmission when someone is on meds please see the following link:

    http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/

    With regards to why she won’t open up, because I don’t know her its difficult to advise. However, a lot of people don’t talk about their status because they are worried about being rejected due to the stigma that is associated with HIV. Yes, you may want to support your wife, and this is a good thing, but it sounds like she needs some time. Its been a shock for you to find out. It will also have been a shock for her too. Just give her some time. Being there is important though.

  2. Sipho

    hi there, my wife was taking atroiza pills for a year and now she is taking atripla..I recently found out after 4 years..Yesterday I went to do the test and I was negative..I was depressed and wanted to divorce her for hiding this from me. When I ask her she says the pills are for boosting her immune system. Now I really want to support her, but she doesn’t want to be open with me.

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