Q and A

Question

Should I tell my partner about my status before we marry?

Hi, I’m Susan and HIV positive. I am currently in a relationship. It’s 10 months now the man doesn’t know my status but i know he’s negative. We are planning to marry each other. I am confused, should I tell him or just continue with my medication? please help.

Answer

Hi Susan, how are you doing?

Do you know how your partner feels about HIV? and would you feel safe/comfortable to do so?

Telling someone your status is very personal and you should only do this if you want to. Do your friends/family know?

As you are on treatment and if you are undetectable, there is no risk of transmission to your partner. This is called U=U. Often explaining this can make telling your partner much easier.

Being unsure of disclosing is very common. Our disclosure Q&A may be helpful to read. It is also important to note that some countries require disclosure prior to marriage. Where are you based?

Josh.

6 comments

  1. Josh Peasegood

    Hi David, cleaning teeth does not risk HIV transmission. Please follow this link for more information: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing

  2. David

    Hi josh it is possible that you can catch the HIV from cleaning teeth from dentist?

  3. Josh Peasegood

    Hi David, some patients report that being on treatment has caused their skin to darken. This is not caused by HIV, instead the treatment for HIV. Previous questions about this has been answered here: https://i-base.info/qa/803

  4. David

    Hi i- base team why people with HIV have a darker skin especially men?

  5. Josh Peasegood

    Hi AAA, as you have had an exposure it is a good idea to take PEP. After which you can use PrEP to prevent risk of further exposure (or use a condom). It is possible to have sex and not get HIV. There are a number of factors that change this risk and this is explained here: https://i-base.info/guides/testing/risks-for-transmission

  6. AAA

    Good afternoon i-base management, I need help from this website, I’m with a girl for over two years have sex without a condom, last week I took her her for check up,I test HIV negative and she test hiv positive, is possible to have sex without a condom over two years without affecting with the virus. She didn’t know that she is hiv positive, please help me since I know she is hiv positive I start taking pep ,I should continue taking pep or I should stop it,but I didn’t know the time that she got that hiv virus,

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