Question
Feeling confused…
29 September 2008. Related: All topics, Newly diagnosed.
All I can say is Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
About 2 years ago I went through a rough stage in my life and battled with suicide attempts and was diagnosed with depression. I still suffer with depression but have learnt to control it and fight it in my own way, and one of the best decisions I made was to stop taking the meds, and I felt I had become stronger from it.
3 weeks ago I went into hospital with suspected menigitis and came out diagnosed HIV+. I found the “seroconversion” (I think that’s what it’s called) rough and it took a lot out of me and I am extremely tired all the time still, but am getting there I think.
I haven’t told anyone about my diagnosis (apart from one friend who’s been amazing) and don’t know how I’m going to go on- I feel I’ve put my family through enough heartache over the last 2 years without adding my latest saga to it.
I went straight back to work after I came out of hospital and have tried to keep busy, which probably was a mistake, as I don’t think my diagnosis has hit me yet, Im finding the whole thing overwhelming and not in a good way and it is obviously starting to get me extremely down, which from reading websites, etc depression and stress is not a good thing for the immune system according to most. So that’s not a good start with my history.
My CD4 count is at 504, I haven’t a clue what they said my viral load was but the doctors/nurses I’ve been dealing with are so relaxed over everything that they’ve said they are really pleased with me that I’m healthy (every other test they did on me came back negative) and to not worry ‘nothing major has to change’????. I might not need medication for 10 to 15 years. They’ve also told me that although there is a 3 month window they said that I’ve contracted the virus quite recently, maybe within the month – which also around 98% fairly identfies the person I contacted it from. I know it takes two to tango, but I can’t stop thinking about this person, did he know he has the virus or not…
Answer
Sorry to hear about your positive result.
Different people respond differently to the situation. In some cases it take some time to get used to the fact that they have HIV,
Comment