Q and A

Question

Why do I get rejected when I’m honest about my HIV status?

I got tested for hiv and it was positive. I was told i have to be honest to my partner but I was rejected by him. Then I met another boyfriend and my first boyfriend told him about my status. How can you be honest when you keep on being rejected every time?

Answer

I’m sorry to hear about your situation but it is still good that you were open about your HIV status.

It takes courage and strength to tell your potential partners. Unfortunately, some people do not value this honesty. This is due to lack of knowledge and understanding about HIV.

On the one hand many negative people expect positive people to disclose but this just becomes less likely when some of these people have no respect if you do this.

This person should be ashamed of themselves and what they have done and you are better not having them as a friend.

Sadly, we live in a world where most people are not that well informed about HIV. Stigma still exists, but it is changing. A lot of advocates, activists and governments from across the world are tackling this issue to reduce the stigma of HIV. And partly this can only be done by HIV positive people treating HIV as an ordinary part of life.

Many HIV positive people have a healthy and loving relationship with HIV negative people.  They are known as sero different couples (where one partner is positive and the other is negative).

Although my circumstances may be different to yours I am in one of these couples.  My boyfriend has been positive for 12 years and I’m negative.  I’m only using myself as an example to let you know that you can develop a good and loving relationship, regardless of your HIV status.

Please don’t be down-hearted about what has happened but use it to make yourself stronger.

13 comments

  1. Roy Trevelion

    Hi Ledwin,

    I’m sorry to hear your story. But it sounds like you’re not down-hearted about what has happened but you’re using it to make yourself stronger. Great!
    Best wishes, Roy

  2. Ledwin

    I been positive for almost 5years.l only disclose my hiv status when l see it worth.Not everyone deserves to know the truth about you.I met this Nigerian guy l really liked 3weeks ago..we had protected sex 4times and just yesterday l texted him a simple straight message telling him my status.he blue ticked me and its been over 24hours.Am not worried its his loss not mine if he go.l love myself and am happy and no negative vibes appreciated my side

  3. Tika

    Go on a hiv dating site where you meet others with the same situation.

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