Q and A

Question

I am scared if we do IVF and my partner finds out I am HIV+

I’m scared of telling my partner I have HIV. We have been together for 4 years and have been undetectable from the moment I met him. We have been having unprotected intercourse for a year or two.

Our relationship is wonderful he is loving and caring. He wants to have children however he has a low sperm count and wants us to do IVF.

I want to however due to my past relationship I have fears of disclosing my status and afraid it will come up when I go for an IVF. I’m not sure what to do and because I really want to be a mom and I take care of myself to ensure he is not harmed in anyway. Not to mention I have no idea how I contracted it as I’ve only been with 2 people who are both negative and not to mention I don’t even know anyone who is positive like me in my actual life.

I’ve also been through counseling as in the past I’ve been diagnosed with major depression disorder and Anxiety disorder and have come a long way. I don’t know what to do and feel horrible for not telling him even if I have been undetectable for 10 year

Answer

Hi there

I am sorry that you are in this situation and that HIV stigma and ignorance have cause you to not be able to talk to your partner without fear.

Please see this similar Q&A here:
https://i-base.info/qa/23345

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