Question
What can I do if I find out someone I slept with was positive?
7 September 2010. Related: All topics.
Good morning I would like to know if someone sleeps with a person that is HIV positive and he doesnt know that she is and find out a day after intercourse what can he do?
Answer
Thank you for your question.
Did you talk about HIV before you slept together. Did you talk about your HIV status and how you felt about HIV? Did you use a condom?
If you used a condom, then you have no risk of HIV. If you did not use a condom, then you have to accept responsibility for this and not blame somebody else. It is 2010 and anyone old enough to have sex, is old enough to know they should use condoms if they are worried about HIV.
In this instance, it may help you to know that the risk from any one heterosexual exposure from a women to a man is generally very low.
Laws are different in every country, but the legal system is a bad way to deal with sexual relationships, especially if you are worrying about HIV when you may not even be HIV-positive. How you know that she is HIV-positive e.g. not just via someone else telling you a rumour but you know this for a fact. If you can prove she was aware of her status before you had sex and if she didn’t try to use protection. You would also need to be able to prove you were not HIV positive before you had sex with her as well. Have you had a test recently?
It is important to remember that everyone is responsible for their own sexual behaviour. If you both decided to have unprotected sex then you both put yourselves at risk. There are many people who are HIV positive and are not aware of their status. Infection should not be blamed on the individual who is positive. This fuels stigma and discrimination.
Hi Patiswa, have you asked your boyfriend about why they have Reydin?
Hi! I just got back with my ex, the first time we used a condom but the second time he told me that he tested and he is not positive so we stopped using condoms. Last night I found reydin tablets in his bag. What does this mean for me? My worry is the 72 hours has passed for me to take PEP
Hi Scooby, is your husband taking his medication everyday? Is there a reason you can’t access a viral load test to check? Given the time on treatment his viral load should be suppressed below 200. If this is the case there is no risk of transmission. This is explained by U=U: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/ Without testing you cannot be sure but even if his viral load is not completely suppressed, the risk of transmission will be significantly reduced.
My husband is hiv positive and I am negative. He is on medication for 3 years know. Is’t safe to have unprotected sex without knowing his viral load
Hi Sophia,
There’s only a risk if your viral load is detectable. If your viral load is undetectable then you’re OK. Please see here:
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
am hiv positive but am taking my medication everyday, but my man he is not positive, but we are having sex without condoms, can i infect him?
Hi Hope,
Thanks for this reply to Sophie. Yes, PEP is a good idea and it has a better chance of working if you start it soon after an HIV risk.
However PrEP is also a good idea. That’s if you think you’re going to be at risk of HIV more often than just once.
Please see this link to more info about PEP and PrEP, including Q&As.
Gud morning Sophie
Better be on pep treatment if u ar not sure about the blood status of ur partner of which with whom u had unprotected sex!
Hi Sophie,
The most common test for HIV is an antibody test.
HIV antibody tests do not work as soon as you are infected. This is because it usually takes several weeks to generate antibodies to HIV. This is called the ‘window period’. Most people generate this response within 4–6 weeks, but approximately 5% of people take up to 3 months.
Please see more info on this Q&A.
I was drunk I slept with someone now I don’t know if he was hiv postive and again I can’t remember him what can I do can it’s show if I go for hiv tested it’s happened 3 days ago