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Question

I kissed an HIV positive man

I wanted to have a baby but I didn’t have a husband and I was getting older. I asked this guy i know very well, to help me make a baby. We dated ten years ago and I guess we still like each other somewhat.My fertility doctor told me if he (the doctor) provides the donor it will be much more expensive so i asked a friend. He said yes .

So my doctor tested both of us and his was HIV positive. We hadn’t have sex in ten years but we had been French kissing lately since we started talking again.

I went to my doctor and told him that i had been kissing this guy. The doctor said that the risk is BASICALLY zero that I had contracted the virus. He said he will do the test in three months just to ease my mind. I am waiting but I can’t sleep in the meanwhile.

Lately, I have been having all the signs of a person going through seroconversion. Two weeks after exposure I developed an earache and I still have it after one month. My lymph nodes are swollen in my neck and in my thighs cough and cold.

I had the flu and while I had that I had a fever, chills and night sweats.
The doctor diagnosed me with pneumonia after a chest xray. I took all the antibiotics and it went away.After the flu went away( in one week) my nodes are still painful.I still have the earache.

My doctor had just did a test on me a month ago because I had decided on infertility treatments.I WAS NEGATIVE.

The doctor said this is the worst flu season and I shouldn’t worry myself. I don’t feel well at all. I can’t wait for three months.Why are my nodes still swollen.

What am i to make of these symptoms I am experiencing? Is it all in my head?

Answer

I am more concerned for your friend who is now dealing with a real HIV positive diagnosis, after having agreed to help you with your wish to have a baby.

You surely know that if HIV can not be caught by kissing, confirmed by your doctor, that you can not have caught HIV.

A similar question was answered at this link.

21 comments

  1. Marten •

    I kissed someone with a canker sore in my mouth, will I get HIV?

  2. Simon Collins •

    Hi Dejan, yes you should be concerned about transmitting herpes to this woman. Herpes is infectious so why would you put someone else at risk?

    This link has info on HIV.
    https://i-base.info/qa/11844

  3. Dejan •

    I kissed a woman I didn’t know, and I’m unaware of her HIV status. We engaged in deep kissing for a few minutes, while I had a small herpes sore below my mouth. There was no blood or unusual taste, and the kiss felt completely normal. Should I be concerned about potential transmission?

    (I had an early anti-HIV test after 4 days of exposure (i know that was short time), which was negative).

  4. Simon Collins •

    Hi Ojo, this is not a risk for HIV – please see this link for more info:
    https://i-base.info/qa/11844

  5. Ojo •

    By kissing or a lady sucking you and she’s HIV positive someone can’t contact HIV

  6. Josh Peasegood •

    Hi Paul, HIV is not transmitted by kissing.

    Please see here for information about HIV is transmitted: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing

  7. Paul •

    Hello I kissed my 1 month old girlfriend, we’ve never had sex it happened that she is Hiv positive,so I decided to take the PeP for the 30 days will get the infection

  8. Lisa Thorley •

    Hi Thabile,

    You can’t contract HIV in the way that you’ve described.

  9. Thabile •

    I breastfeeding my child is 4 mounth i dated a man and we deep kissing but did not have sex today he told me that he is hiv positive using ARVs he was scared to tell me now i dont know if i shold be worried or not i cant focus im scared .scared for my baby

  10. Roy Trevelion •

    Hi Ashik,

    Please see this chart for the window period for developing antibodies against HIV. 95% of people do this by week 4 and more than 99.9% by week 12.

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