Question
My boyfriend is positive – can I be infected by him?
3 January 2012. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed.
My boyfriend of 6 years has recently came out positive for hiv. I’m being very supportive about it. We had sex just a couple of days ago and we did use protection but i was wondering if i could get hiv by him going down on me.
Answer
The next few weeks and months are going to be difficult for both of you. It must be difficult for your boyfriend to have heard this news and it will also difficult for you. It is important that you both get help from support organisations if you need this.
Lots of couple continue to have long, happy and safe lives together, without the negative partner catching HIV too.
Oral sex is generally very low risk, but your oral health is important. If you have mouth ulcers, sores or bad gums (do they bleed when you brush your teeth?) this would increase the risk.
If your mouth is healthy the risk would be very low because the mouth is otherwise a pretty good barrier for protection. It is better not to get cum or pre-cum in your mouth though.
Also, your partners viral load level will be likely to affect the risk. If and when he starts HIV treatment his viral load will come down to very low levels that will also dramatically reduce his infectiousness. Unless his CD4 count (a marker of his immune system) is already very low, he might not need treatment for a while.
Good luck during this difficult time.