Q and A

Question

Why do I get rejected when I’m honest about my HIV status?

I got tested for hiv and it was positive. I was told i have to be honest to my partner but I was rejected by him. Then I met another boyfriend and my first boyfriend told him about my status. How can you be honest when you keep on being rejected every time?

Answer

I’m sorry to hear about your situation but it is still good that you were open about your HIV status.

It takes courage and strength to tell your potential partners. Unfortunately, some people do not value this honesty. This is due to lack of knowledge and understanding about HIV.

On the one hand many negative people expect positive people to disclose but this just becomes less likely when some of these people have no respect if you do this.

This person should be ashamed of themselves and what they have done and you are better not having them as a friend.

Sadly, we live in a world where most people are not that well informed about HIV. Stigma still exists, but it is changing. A lot of advocates, activists and governments from across the world are tackling this issue to reduce the stigma of HIV. And partly this can only be done by HIV positive people treating HIV as an ordinary part of life.

Many HIV positive people have a healthy and loving relationship with HIV negative people.  They are known as sero different couples (where one partner is positive and the other is negative).

Although my circumstances may be different to yours I am in one of these couples.  My boyfriend has been positive for 12 years and I’m negative.  I’m only using myself as an example to let you know that you can develop a good and loving relationship, regardless of your HIV status.

Please don’t be down-hearted about what has happened but use it to make yourself stronger.

21 comments

  1. Josh Peasegood

    Hi Weirdo, I am sorry you have had to go through this. Unfortunately these events do happen and HIV is still carries a stigma for which many people still associate with HIV. Being rejected in this case is no reflection on you. I understand this can be difficult to recognise but someone rejecting you for a belief they hold is not to do with you.

    You have no control over your status and if someone cannot see this, it speaks to their character. While this likely feels like a set back, being with someone who does hold this prejudice is not going to be the basis of a healthy relationship. Many people with HIV find love/relationships all over the world. It is a matter of finding the right person.

    Do you have any support at home? Friends or family that you can talk to? If not, you can reach out to The Terrance Higgins Trust (THT), they are a charity that can provide more support in this than we can at i-base. THT: https://www.tht.org.uk/contact-us

    You are not a loser.

Comment

Your email address will not be published.