Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi Nijah,
Please can you talk to your doctor about this. Sorry we are not doctors at i-Base. But we do provide up to date information about HIV treatment, side effects and drug interactions.
I am 32 yrs old n am hiv positive i dont have child i am also have fibroids can i get pregnant with that
Hi Rebecca,
I guess that both you and your partner are on HIV treatment (ART) with undetectable viral loads. If your ART is working well there may be other reasons why you’re losing weight that are not due to HIV. You can talk to the doctor about your weight loss and get them to check it out.
Hi I am hiv+ and my partner is hiv_ we’ve been trying for a baby for months now naturally…. Could my health be in danger because am loosing weight
Hi,
Are you on medication? If you are and your viral load is undetectable then there isn’t any risk. Please see here: http://i-base.info/u-equals-u/ If your viral load is detectable, you need to be using condoms when having sex.
I am HIV positive and my boyfriend is negative, we once had dry sex on the other side am scared that i might have infected him. Though we had sex for about 4-5 minutes
Hi Joy,
When HIV positive mothers are on HIV treatment with an undetectable viral load, the risk of HIV to the baby is low. So many HIV positive mothers all over the world have had healthy HIV negative babies.
But there can be some risk from breastfeeding. Please see What is the safest way to feed my baby, which is answered in full by Angelina.
Can babies that are born under the mother with hiv, have hiv because they are breastfeed
Hi Joy,
Due to you being undetectable, so having a viral load of less than 50 copies/ml there isn’t a risk of transmission. Please see Q’s 9 and 14 here: http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I have removed the womb and I’m hiv posetive am on medication arvs for ten years my viral load is less than 40-cpoies cd4-700 my boyfriend is negative ..we have made sex without condom more than six times.is there any risk