Question
I am 24 years old and HIV positive and I have lost all self esteem
11 May 2012. Related: All topics, Support.
I am 24 years old and HIV positive…I was diagnosed when I was 19. I have never had any course to worry about my health as I have never had any health problems. The problem I am having is that I have lost all self esteem as a person.
I am fortunate to have a great boyfriend who is negative and loves me. The problem is that I dont have self confidence due to my health problem. For example I always ask myself why would he want to be with me when there are loads of negative women out there.
Answer
Thank-you for writing to i-Base. Although I can see that you are having a difficult time there are some very positive points to your story. You sound like you’re very healthy. And it’s great that you have a loving boyfriend who supports you. But sometimes the psychological impact of HIV can be as difficult, or even more difficult, than the physical symptoms.
You’re not alone in struggling to feel self-confident because of your HIV. Most young women struggle with self-confidence anyway, and adding HIV to this can seem too much to cope with. You say that you don’t understand why your boyfriend wants to be with you when he could be with somebody who is HIV negative. But there are lots of couples out there where one person is positive and the other negative. Although your HIV status might seem like a big negative point to you maybe to your boyfriend its less important than all the reasons why he loves you and wants to be with you. HIV is a virus that you have to live with, but it doesn’t define everything that you are. I’m sure that when your boyfriend looks at you he sees a young woman, not a virus.
You’re not alone. There are support groups for HIV positive people all across the UK where you can meet other positive people, and share experiences with them. The Terrence Higgins Trust has information about support groups, as well as a phoneline and online support service. Maybe by meeting other HIV positive young people, and being able to talk through your worries, you will start to feel more confident.
Hi Monic, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling sad and have lost your self-esteem. When were you diagnosed?
Have you started treatment? and have you been able to talk with anyone about how you are feeling e.g., friends/family, your doctor, peer groups, etc…?
Finding out you are HIV positive can be a life-adjusting thing. It can take time to get used to it and you can take as much time as you need. There is no right way to figuring out how to now be someone who is HIV positive, but you are still you.
It’s common for people to feel low and lose their self-esteem after testing negative. This doesn’t mean it won’t come back though. HIV is very treatable. One tablet a day and it can mean you have no additional problems with your health and largely there will be no difference between you and someone HIV negative.
There will be people that you can share your status with and you won’t be stigmatised. These are people you get to choose and you should never feel liek you have to tell them. It is completely your decision about who and when you tell.
I too have bn diagonised, i feel very sad and i lost my self esteem.. I nolonger cope well with other my greatest fear is am i going to be in a relationship that i can opemly say im posetive and get that love back with honestly…o hate bwing stigmatized.im 24years now from Africa,dont hesitate to talk to me and laugh with me online just to cheer my stress up amd make my day
Hi Geoffrey,
I’m sorry to hear you’re stessed, alone and battling with self esteem.
But you’re not alone in struggling to feel self-confident because of your HIV. Is it a recent diagnosis? We can all feel this way when we first test positive.
Please see this link even if you’ve been positive for a while. So if this is all new to you or not, it still takes time to get your bearings and build up your strength to deal positively with your new life. It will also depend on where in the world you live.
Things will get easier, although it may take time. Please ask more specific questions when you want. But please stay in touch with us.
Am HIV+ am battling with stress, I don’t like meeting with people I opt to stay alone,I lost my self esteem, pliz help
Hi Sagar,
Is there anything specific you’d like to know?
I am 19yrs old HIV+ what can I do?
Hi Owen,
I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been able to tell anybody about your status! We don’t work as an introduction service but you might find it useful to join myhiv.org.uk or look on poz.com. THT also runs lots of support groups, including a group in London for people aged 16-25. You can search for one in you area on their website.
Hi my name is owen, I’m 25 and have just been diagnosed a year ago, nobody in my family knows and I’m scared to tell my friends, I really want to make friends with someone who is in the same situation as me and Is around the same age, send me an email if you get time, I would be great full for your reply :)
I too suffer from constant negative thoughts coz my boyfriend is hiv negative and i’m hiv positive. My suggestion is for you to practice accepting the disease and loving yourself despite your challenges. I’m 27 years now and was diagnosed at the age of 23. It’s been an ongoing battle within myself but everyday i look forward to living my life to the fullest, despite my status.
You can do it too.
Why not look up the MyHIV website and maybe join the community forums. There is a huge variety of individuals who regularly contribute to the various threads. If you simply want to browse that is cool as well, you can be as open or as annonymous as you wish to be.
Hope you will give it a try