Question
How should I accept the fact that I am HIV positive and manage it?
18 July 2007. Related: All topics, Living with HIV long-term, Side effects.
Currently I am on treatment and doing fine.
Everyday my mind keep telling me I am a HIV positive so automatically. I try not to think about it but can not help it and keep hearing it everyday.
This disturbance cause me very stressful and I am having trouble living a ‘normal’ life.
How should I manager it?
Thank you very much.
Answer
Thanks for your question.
It is a difficult one, because there isn’t one easy answer.
Usually, with time, things get easier.
If you were newly diagnosed, or only started treatment recently, this does take a while. Focusing on the fact that with an undetectable viral load you have stopped HIV developing or from damaging your immune system may help.
Or that taking pills only takes a few minutes each day (leaving you free for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes a day to do other things).
If you currently have side effects, talk to your doctor about adapting your treatment so these are easier is important.
Your overall quality of life needs to be good – but the routine bit definitely takes a while to get used to.
After a while though, most people say that it gets easier and they reach a point where, apart from adherence, they don’t think so much about it.
If this is causing you a lot of difficulty then perhaps ask about whether counselling support is available, in case the worry is related to unresolved issues of your original HIV diagnosis.
Hi Themba, I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. Have you been able to talk to anyone about this e.g., friends, family or even your doctor?
When were you diagnosed and what about the medication is causing you to avoid it? How is your health currently?
Being HIV positive can be a huge life changing thing. It can take time to adjust and accept being HIV positive. Don’t feel like you need to rush about being accepting or feeling that you should be having sex.
Is your husband HIV positive? and is he supporting you through this?
There is no right or wrong way to learn to accept being HIV positive. This will be a journey personal to you. But what is important is starting treatment. Being on treatment will suppress HIV and stop it destroying your immune system. Taking the medication will let you have the health and the time to be able to accept being HIV positive.
Im Themba Hiv positive it’s hard to accept even avoiding medication and having sex . I’m married and im avoiding sex I can’t even explain my feelings confused.
Hi Puseletso,
If you’re newly diagnosed, give yourself some time. If it’s possible talking to others might help. Depending on where it is that you live, there should be a HIV support group.
Though coming to terms with being positive can be difficult, HIV is now a very manageable health condition and one that’s easy to treat. You’ve already started taking ARVs, so you’ll be aware of this. However, if you want to control your HIV it’s important that you adhere to your medication, if you having problems with this, please talk to your doctor.
Though it can hard taking pills every day, if you see if just like brushing your teeth or getting dressed, it’ll come part of a routine. If you don’t adhere to your meds, the risk of resistance will increase, this isn’t something that you want to happen.
Talking helps as too does time.
It’s hard for me to accept my HIV status and I don’t take pills according to doctors prescription..
Hi Messi,
Have you just found out you’re HIV positive? If so, this can be a tough time for all of us. Please see this Q&A about just finding out.
Even if you feel worried, frightened, upset or angry now, it will get easier. You will still be able do all the things you wanted to do before you learned that you were HIV positive.
HIV for most people can be easily managed and treated. Treatment (called ART) is highly effective and generally easy to take. Do you have access to ART? And do you have support in the country where you live?
Please let us know.
And here is the guide to starting ART.
I’m struggling to accept my HIV status help me please. I feel like dying
Hi Buhle,
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a negative experience when visiting your clinic, have you thought about making a complaint?
Though some health care workers can be very unprofessional its important that you attend clinic, and that you stay on medication. Its the medication that is controlling your HIV. Its the medication that will help you live a long and healthy life.
Its the medication that will also ensure that you cannot transmit HIV to your partner, (this is once your viral load is undetectable). Being on medication will also reduce the risk of transmission to any children that you may have.
Yes, being positive can be hard. But you’re going to be OK. Just give yourself some time, some time to breath and to come to terms with your status. HIV is no longer the illness it used to be, like I’ve explained as long as you’re on medication you’ll be fine. Try not to give yourself a hard time. You’ve done nothing wrong and you’ve nothing to feel ashamed about.
Talking to others who are positive may help. Are their any support groups near to where you live?