Question

I'm positive, my brother's newly diagnosed- how can I support him?

10 May 2012. Related: All topics, Newly diagnosed, Support.

I’m a 28 years old HIV positive guy and I’m healthy due to my medicines.

My brother (36 years old) was next to me from the very first beginning supporting me and advising me not to forget to take my meds on time etc. He’s a great brother!

A few days ago I visited my bro and I realized that he wasn’t OK. Not in mood for anything and he couldn’t communicate very well using his speech. I was terrified, and I brought him to a psychologist.

He also did an HIV test because he wanted to. Today the doctor from the lab called him and asked him to go again because there was a problem. Immediately I remembered my situation when I was first diagnosed positive!

We went there and it was the same thing! He is HIV positive too. But I am afraid that his disease is old because I saw some AIDS symptoms. We went at the hospital for AIDS and doctors confirmed my fears!

My lovely brother has problem with his breathing, his mental state; fungus in his mouth; and a fever. He has lost weight and hair and is generally weak. These are symptoms of AIDS! Right?

This is his first night in the hospital. I miss him so much! He was always here. Now the roles have changed. I will support him as much as I can and I’m asking you to advise me in medical and psychological way so I can help him in the best way I can!

Or is it too late? Soon we will have the results of CD4 amount and viral load.

Answer

Answer: Rebecca McDowall

I’m very sorry to hear about your brother’s recent diagnosis. This must be a very stressful time for both of you. It’s great that he has you there to support him though. It’s also very positive that he is in hospital and receiving the care he needs.

Until we know your brother’s CD4 count and viral load it’s difficult to say whether the symptoms he is experiencing are related to HIV or not. The doctors in the hospital will run tests to try to identify any infections your brother may have. We’re not doctors at i-Base so I can’t suggest the root of his symptoms.

You can think positively though. HIV treatment is very effective, even in people who are diagnosed late. So even if your brother’s CD4 count comes back low you shouldn’t see this as being ‘too late’. Even with a very low CD4 count, even below 10, if he follows treatment very carefully, he has a good chance that treatment will work. His viral load would drop and his CD4 count would rise to safer levels.

Your brother is very lucky to have somebody to support him who understands HIV from a personal point of view. For many people just having somebody to share the experience with can make an HIV diagnosis much easier to deal with.

If you have questions now, or  when your brother’s test results come back please do get in touch.