Question
Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?
29 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?
How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?
Answer
Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?
Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).
The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.
Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.
A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.
While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.
Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.
Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.
For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.
This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.
I had sex with my boyfriend who does not know his HIV status. I tested some months before then and was negative. He strongly told me that he was negative because his last girlfriend of two years who he always had unprotected sex with is negative. Since the last two years he has had no sex. Is it possible for a positive person to have lots of unprotected sex with someone and still remain negative?
Hi Justin,
Thank you for your comment. It is fantastic to see you are being so supportive to your new guy. You can’t get HIV through kissing and for more information about the risk of transmission through oral sex please see a question I answered recently. If your partner is taking HIV treatment and has had an undetectable viral load for more than 6 months and neither of you has any STIs then the risk of HIV transmission is extremely low.
I have just started dating the most amazing guy ever, it has only been two weeks but still great. He has told me today that he is HIV positive but I’m not going to turn my back on him because of this and still want to carry on seeing him. I am aware I still need to protect myself. Kissing him and oral sex without him cumming in my mouth – is this safe? Is the best way to protect my self by using a condom during anal sex? I have never had to deal with anything like this and am some what lost, however not scared or put off at all. Any advice on the best way to live out a great relationship with someone who is HIV positive would be of great help.
Thank you
Justin
Thank you for your question. It is difficult to determine the level of exposure to HIV as it depends on so many factors. It is really important to wait for a circumcision to heal completely before having sex, even though this may take several months. Although there is a good chance you are still negative, having an HIV test is the only way to know if you are HIV positive or not.
I had protected sex three times with a woman I learnt was HIV positive. I had an open wound from a recent circumcision and I am worried I might have come into contact with her fluids when I was removing the condoms. I also washed immediately after removing the condom. On the last day I had just shaved and I felt burning feeling on my genitals and noticed her fluids where around that area? How exposed am I to HIV?
Please don’t be scared. The only way you will know if you are HIV positive is if you go for a test. If you find that you are HIV positive then there are treatments available which will give you a good quality of life for many years. For further information on HIV testing please follow this link to the i-Base factsheet. Alternatively you can call us and we can talk you through the testing process and offer support should you need it.
I had unprotected sex with a male dancer once and now I’m scared to the point that I’m getting anxiety attacks and I was wondering what is the chance of me catching HIV if he had it?
I just tested positive and told my partner, he told me he was going to test and will tell me the results. He called me and told me that he is negative. I don’t know if the situation is the same as other situations above because he has been having all these signs like flu, night sweats, headaches and always feeling tired for the last 2 to 3 weeks. So I’m confused.
When I was pregnant I tested HIV positve and my partner of 6 years was negative funnily enough I had never cheated on him. It came to me as a surprise as he was the one who has always cheated on me. I heard that one of his girlfriends passed away and the other girlfriend that he used to date is HIV positive. I am asking myself why all the people that he has had relationships with are HIV positve and he is negative. Even now he has not changed his lifestyle as he likes women and I wonder if he is not the one who has infected me.
It is impossible to say whether or not you have become infected with hepatitis B. The only way to know is to go back to your doctor for a test at the time he specified. Please don’t be worried though as most adults clear the infection and do not usually require treatment for hepatitis B.