Question
Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?
29 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?
How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?
Answer
Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?
Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).
The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.
Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.
A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.
While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.
Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.
Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.
For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.
This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.
Yeah I am definately going to get some psychological help because I am one problem away from becoming insane and being locked up in an asylum. You can only imagine what I am going through,low self-esteem truly does take a toll on a teenagers life,it has made me do things i never thought I could ever do.Now that I have done this I just can’t believe my time here on earth could possibly be shortened.Reading the situation on this page makes me hopeful but the truth of the matter is i had sex with an hiv positive person,there are a lot of factors that contribute to why i could be negative but it is what it is so i cant set myself up.Thank you so much for you’r time,I guess what ever God wants,I should want too,and if he wants this for me then i should want it too.He works in mysterious ways,it upsets me because i have never been with a woman and i wanted to have kids someday,i didnt want to stay this way for long,but God does things for a reason,all i can do is pray and hope…once again thank you.
Hello,
Please don’t be scared, this is a very confusing time in your life. The only way you can know if you are HIV positive when you go for the next HIV test. Until then have you thought of getting some professional counselling to help you through the psychological problems you spoke of?
I feel so annoying asking you this question since so many people ask you so many questions I am sorry. The last time I was exposed to HIV was about a couple of days before the test results. I have been having unprotected sex since febuary 14th. I remember since it was Valentines day. We got tested around May 2nd. I still have to go back in 3 months but like I have said I am petrified I am only 19 years old as well and this happend because of so many psyshological problems I have. I am finding myself, I just started college, I am confused and just all over the place I never meant for this to happen it just did I can’t believe it. I am praying and hoping to God that someway somehow I am negative but there is such a huge possibility that I am not. I’m so scared.
PIt is not possible for your wife to test negative but really be positive for HIV. The only way you will know if you are HIV positive is if you go for a test. I understand how scary it can be going for a HIV test but at least it will put your mind at rest.
For further information on HIV testing please follow this link:
I have been with my wife for 4 years and she got tested twice for HIV when she was pregnant. Both pregnancies she was negative for HIV. She is not cheating and I’m not cheating on her but before I met her my ex-girlfriend cheated and I was always worried she has HIV but I never had the courage to get tested. Is it possible for my wife to be positive but tested negative while pregnant? I had night sweats and muscle aches at times and we just did a test for life insurance and I’m so scared now. Please help.
Thanks a million.
Finding out you are HIV positive and coming to terms with your status can be a very emotional process. Your fiance’s anger and change in attitude is to be expected. What is important is that he is receiving the care and support he needs both for his physical health and his mental health. Do you know of any support groups in your area where he can go and speak to other HIV positive people? He can call our treatment information phoneline on 0808 800 6013 to talk anonymously to other HIV positive people if he would like?
For now you have to be patient with him. If you feel you need counselling to cope with this then you should look into getting some professional help even if he wont go with you initially. This will help you to come to terms with your fiance’s diagnosis and will help you know how better you can support him. If you have any questions, you can also call the treatment information phoneline (Mon-Wed 12-4pm) to speak to someone.
My fiance recently found out his status and it’s positive. I on the other hand am negative. Our relationship has changed so much since we found out 3 months ago. I suggested counseling, but he won’t. I need counselling on this because it’s draining the life out of me. His attitude has changed and his anger has a life of it’s own. I love him so much but I don’t know what to do. I’m holding on by a thin piece of thread. The mental twist and the non physical relationship is currently taking a toll on me and all I want to do is be there for him. How do I gain endurance and strength when I feel like I don’t even know this man anymore?
It is impossible to say what the likelihood is that you are infected with HIV. The only way to know is to go for a test. I understand that it is difficult going for a HIV test but knowing your status will enable you to either protect yourself in the future, if you are negative, or to get the care you need if you are positive. Today we are very lucky that there are drugs available which can give you a good quality of life and a near normal life expectancy.
Hi,
I’m feeling like dying because I started having unprotected sex 5 months ago with my boyfriend. He told me yesterday that he is HIV positive. Right now I’m too depressed to do a HIV test. Can you tell me the likelihood that I might be infected or not? I can’t eat, drink or even concetrate on anything. Please give me your advice.
I think your boyfriend has been very lucky. I do not know why it is that he has not even generated an immune response to the virus. This does not mean he will not get it in the future though. Maybe he should think of vaccinating himself against hepatitis B to prevent infection in the future.