Question
Why is my husband HIV negative when I am pregnant and HIV positive?
23 January 2018. Related: All topics, Newly diagnosed, Pregnancy, Sero different couples, Starting treatment.
Hi , I am 36, married, and pregnant and have just found out that I am HIV positive, with CD4 of 239.
My question is I never get sick or have any symptoms that I am infected, so now I am worried that I maybe too late to start treatment, because they told me that I need to start when my CD4 count is about 350.
My mind still adjusting to the news cos its only weeks find out I am positive but I have the reason to live that is why I accept that life goes on, its the matter of changing lifestyle and live good healthy life style.
My other worry is that my husband tested 6 months ago and he said he tested negative, checking from that time do you think he lied to me about his result because now I six month pregnant and positive. Is it possible to check when I became HIV positive?
Answer
Thank you for your question.
As you asked a number of questions, I will respond to them one at a time.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy.
Although it might be difficult to learn you are HIV positive, it is much better that you found out now. Earlier is always better both for your health and for your baby. You are also right in taking a positive attitude about your life.
Even though your CD4 count is less than 350, you will still get a good response to HIV treatment (ART). The meds will help get you CD4 count become higher again and will protect the baby from HIV. The meds will also protect your husband from HIV in the future. Also, since 2015, ART is recommended for everyone, even at CD4 counts above 500.
Starting ART is important, so that your viral load can become undetectable when your baby is due to be born. This is because having an undetectable viral load is the best way for your baby to be HIV negative.
This guide to HIV and pregnancy has lots more information.
If your husband was HIV positive 6 months ago, it might be good for him to test again now. There is a small chance that he might have recently become HIV positive but that the test didn’t work. He might also really be HIV negative and has just continued to be lucky.
There are many couples were one partner is HIV positive, and the other is HIV negative, even when they haven’t been using condoms. Please follow this link for more information on such cases.
More information on sero-different couples (where one partner is HIV positive and the other is negative) is at this link. The answers to Q 5, 6 and 9 at this link might also help:
https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and please let us know if we can help further or again in the future.
Note: This answer was updated in January 2018 and July 2016 from a question first posted online in November 2011.
Hi Anonymous.
Because you have an undetectable viral load the risks of transmission are close to zero. Please see the PARTNER study for more info.
http://i-base.info/htb/30108
Therefore, it is you being undetectable that is protecting your partner.
Hi I’m a born HIV woman whose viral load is undetachable. My partner is negative and we have a 1 year old boy who is negative. We have had unprotected sex sometimes before the baby because my partner was insisted on it. I want to know how and why is he still negative not that I want him 2 b positive
Hi Mirriam, I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time. This must be especially difficult when you are pregnant and need to be focused on your health and your baby. Even though things seem very difficult, you have options that can help. Do you have anyone to talk to? This could be a friend, or family member. Or someone at either the HIV clinic or the ante-natal that you are seeing about your baby. Whatever reasons your husband gives himself for behaving this way are not acceptable. You could ask your doctor is there is a women’s support service in your area.
Having the time to talk with someone in detail might help you find other options right now. For example, how to set rules for your husband to follow – even for the sake of the baby. Depending on how bad things are, you it might be better that you don’t live together or only see each other for short times.
Also, which HIV meds are you taking. If the combination includes efavirenz, then this drug could be making your depression and mood changes worse. If you tell your doctor you feel suicidal, s/he should offer you a different choice. While this won;t stop your husband behaving so badly, it might mean that you are stronger in how you will then deal with everything.
You are doing amazing things just by having coped with HIV and by staying with treatment. The meds will mean that both you and your baby will be able to have good lives.
This link answers a related question and includes links to helplines in different countries for other people you can talk to.
http://i-base.info/qa/11906
And you can continue talking here on the website – or email us personally at: questions@i-base.org.uk
Hii am Mirriam am still struggling with this HIV discordant marriage where am HIV+ my husband is treating me very bad is like is blaming me all the time I just need someone to love m to take care of me because am pregnant sometimes I cry a lot I don’t know what to do I love my unborn baby although I want to commit suicide every day I keep on taking my medicine am so lonely in this world I don’t talk to anybody about my problems I just cry help me pls
Hi Nayla,
Not everyone who is infected with HIV has symptoms during seroconversion. Therefore, the only way to know if you were infected is to test. For information on testing, please see here:
http://i-base.info/qa/11844
I had an unprotected sex with someone 07 months back. He called me up to inform me that he was tested HIV+ 3 months back. I dont have any symptoms as of now but are there chances of me getting infected?
Hi Sreejith, please have a look at question 1 at this link – which has links to more information online:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
Although HIV is a low risk from any single risk but the only way to put your mind at rest is to take an HIV test.
Around 7 years ago I done sexual relationship with one prostitute. But she only sick my organ and I was fully drunken. Then my skin was blessed. After 5 years I get married . Now we have one child as will. But now I am so stress full that I worried I have HIV positive or not. When my wife was pregnant the hospital conduct the HIV test for her was negative. Now my wife is again pregnant. I am so worried if I have aids or not? Please help me
Hi Mirriam, please talk to your doctor, or nurse or support group. Your feels of stress and depression are very common. This can be related to HIV, to the diagnosis, to just having had a baby or many other things. If your meds include efavirenz (in Atprila, Tribuss, Atroiza and others) this can also make depression feel worse. You will have plenty of time to work out things with you partner so you can enjoy your ew family. Please get help and support though. If your CD4 count was high when you were diagnosed, there might even be reason to talk to your doctor about stopping HIV treatment if this is due to side effects. You counld not breastfeed if you did this though. Everything will get better but you need people to talk to who can help.
I need your help am 5 months pregnant and i got tested HIV positive my husband is HIV negative my sex life is difficult am thinking to commit suicide after I gave birth am so stresses