Q and A

Question

How long will I live if I stop taking my medication?

Hi,

I decided that at the beginning of December that I would stop taking my meds for good. I’m in my late 20s and had HIV now for about 2 and a half years. I started meds not long after I found out I was infected.

I went from being negative, to positive and on meds in the space of a year. In Nov my CD4 was just under 500 and my viral load was undetectable for the 1st time. At times I stopped my meds, had to change them and wasnt great at taking them.

Unrelated to HIV my health wasn’t great last year was in a bad accident and wreaked my body. I’ve never been at ease with being on meds hence why I wasn’t great with them in the past but I’ve thought long about this and wont change my mind.

I dont want to live to be old because I wont have a good quality of life so id rather let hiv take me when im young. How long, I know you cant just say oh 1 year 2 years etc to me, but in general terms can I expect to live for?

And what kind of illnesses would I expect to get from the HIV?

I’ve had Hodgkin lymphoma in the past would that be likely to return?

Many thanks.

Answer

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through. I can appreciate it must be extremely hard for you to deal with so much at such a young age. Do you have anybody close to you who is supporting you through all this? Do any of your friends or family know about your HIV status, and have you spoken to anyone about the feelings you are grappling with?

To answer your direct question first, how long someone lives without ART will vary a lot. It might be as little as a few years or it might be much longer. If your CD4 count ever went very low, then HIV is likely to progress more quickly. If your CD4 count has always been high, then it would take longer. Maybe 5 to 8 years on average.

Letting HIV progress without ART would not be an easy or reliable way to end your life. Most to the complications of late stage HIV are very difficult and unpredictable. You can easily research this by looking at the early days before there was ART.

It sounds like you have had a lot of difficult things to deal with and HIV is only one of these. Without commenting on what you decide, the way you are writing sounds very close to someone with depression, which is an illness in itself and this is something that needs its own discussion with your doctor.

Without realising it, depression can take hold after a serious life threatening illness or traumatic event. It is common then to focus on something that seems certain and even better, like an earlier death, when time with a counsellor or advisor might help you see that other options are available, but which you just can’t see by yourself. Again, this is not a comment on the things you say, just something to think about.

Many people find it hard coping with an HIV diagnosis, let alone being diagnosed at such an early age and having to start treatment so soon after. Some people come to terms with it soon after, however, many more people take a long time. You are therefore not alone in feeling this way.

Although you were diagnosed just over 2 and a half years ago, it is still early days. It may take you some time to learn to cope with living with HIV and all that entails. With the right treatment, care and support, most people find that they begin to move on with their lives.

You mention that you don’t want to live to be old because you may not have a good quality of life. The reality is, you can live to be old and have a good quality of life, even with an HIV diagnosis.

The medication we now have available to treat HIV is very effective in enabling people to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. Some of the people I know who were diagnosed in their 20s and 30s are now becoming parents and grandparents.

You asked about how long you can expect to live. Modern HIV treatment (ART) now means that life expectancy for an HIV positive person is the same as an HIV negative person. This means you potentially have a lot of time work through the things that re difficult and to have time to enjoy life.

You mention that you were not adhering very well to your medication. Are there any particular issues that you were concerned with? Was it side effects, or was it just having to take pills? Did you speak to anyone at the hospital about finding it hard to adhere?

A good health advisor could talk about newer HIV meds that might be much easier to take.

Without knowing the details of your other complications, if you have responded well to treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma, you have already been very lucky. The chance of long term remission are similar as if you were HIV negative people. This is about 70% survival at five years, which in oncology is seen as similar to a cure rate.

Your other question was about whether the Hodgkins lymphoma is likely to return. As your CD4 count drops, as it will do when off treatment, this is likely to increase the risk that the Hodgkins could return.

Stopping treatment will mean your CD4 count and viral load are likely to quickly return to levels before you started treatment. If this has always been high, then if the break will help you for psychological reasons, the risks are relatively low. However, if your CD4 cont ever dropped below 350, and definitely if it went much lower, stopping treatment is much more risky.  The risk for Hodgkins to relapse is likely to be higher when you are not on HIV meds, compared to being  on treatment.

You said your CD4 count is about 500 and an undetectable viral load. These are a good indication that the medication was working really well. And that you are healthy.

The BHIVA (British HIV Association) guidelines recommend everyone should starting treatment even at high CD4 counts.

As you are based in the UK, you may find it useful, in the first instance, to chat with one of us over the phone. The i-Base treatment phoneline is 0808 800 6013. It is free from landlines and most UK mobile networks.

Other organisations you might find useful to contact are:

  • Positively UK – They support people living with HIV . They also have a mentoring service which you may find useful.  A mentor will be assigned to you and you can see them regularly over a period of time until you are ready to move on.
  • Body and Soul – they provide support to families living with HIV and have a service specifically for young HIV positive people like yourself.

Note: This answered was updated in April 2023, December 2021 and January 2017 from a question posted in January 2012. The answer was updated to reflect changes in treatment guidelines.

605 comments

  1. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Leju,

    At the moment there isn’t a cure for HIV, however as the following link shows, there are lots of people working on one.

    http://i-base.info/htb/34224

  2. LEJU

    Hi any cure for HIV

  3. Willow Woman

    This year marks 25 years I have lived with HIV. In 1993, I was told I had about 2 years, ON medication, to “get my affairs in order”. The hardest part of “getting my affairs in order” was the fact that I had two young children. I did what I had to do. I named one of my best friends as the children’s “godmother” and set my mind at peace with the facts. After I passed the two year deadline, I said to myself, “Screw this shit! Don’t put an expiration date on MY life, because I am going to live the hell out it!” I then became proactive in my treatment plan. I learned my rights as a human being living with HIV. I learned the caliber of people that want to surround myself with. I also learned that I need to be alone at times as well. I never thought I would get to see my children grow up, so when I cherished every moment and knowing that I have no expiration date, I still enjoy and cherish every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I have 6 beautiful grandchildren that I spend most of my days with. I have a house and yard full of animals that I love and care for. Pig, chickens, ducks, guinea fowl, cats, dogs…..they are all a joy in my life. I recognize what is important to my life and I fill it with that. Peace, comfort, family, friends, animals, plants….mostly love. I choose to live with HIV….I hope you will as well.

  4. Roy Trevelion

    Hi Shawn,
    I’m sorry, it sounds tough for you at the moment. But many people think that being undetectable is great – because U=U. Can you ask at the clinic if there is support for you? This might help make you feel less unhappy and alone.
    If you stop taking your pills HIV will rebound. And over time this can increase your risk of infections.

  5. shawn

    hi ,
    i am living with hiv postive and undectable for 1 year and a half now. i am tired of life,tired of being unhappy,alone, paronoid,anxiety,phobias. i want to end my life by not taking my pills any more. how long would it take for my life to end a few days ?

  6. Just Damn Tired

    I honestly don’t understand why everyone thinks you have so much to live for. Each person is different. There are a lot who have a lot to live for and others who feel they have nothing. It’s your choice to takes your meds or not. I have been off mine for 4 months now and I am just waiting for the day I am home. Who will be at my funeral, a few who feel like they are suppose to be there, a few who wonder who is getting my money, and a preacher they will pay to say a bunch of glorious bullshit.

  7. D

    Please do not give up, this breaks my heart. I can relate to what you are going through I was infected at age 18, 10 years ago. I am also bad at taking my meds but I always get back on track and I am living a healthy life after abusing drugs etc. please rethink this, you are not alone and there is so many people here who are willing to support you x

  8. Cathie

    Do not give up, yes there are side effects but that is the case with all medication. My friend was on Deaths Door had been diagnosed but did not take the antiretroviral drugs all of a sudden he could not ride a bike had numerous infections which he was prescribed antibiotics which further destroyed his immune system. He ended up with PML..forunately I visited him and wow I sensed something is wrong with this picture called a DR had full-blown Aids…if we had not reacted he would have died in perhaps 68 days with a PML diagnosis … so he is on antiretrovirals,,and here you go ..this was in 2002 and he is alive and well. Best to wishes C

  9. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Patricia,

    At the moment there isn’t a cure for HIV. However, the medication that we have is excellent at controlling HIV. So much so that people who are positive can live long and health lives.

    If you’re worried that you child may contract HIV from a member of your family, this isn’t going to happen.

  10. Patricia

    Hey. I want to know if there will be a cure for HIV I’m worried all my family is living with HIV and I’m scared to have a baby I don’t want my baby to be infected.

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