Q and A

Question

How long will I live if I stop taking my medication?

Hi,

I decided that at the beginning of December that I would stop taking my meds for good. I’m in my late 20s and had HIV now for about 2 and a half years. I started meds not long after I found out I was infected.

I went from being negative, to positive and on meds in the space of a year. In Nov my CD4 was just under 500 and my viral load was undetectable for the 1st time. At times I stopped my meds, had to change them and wasnt great at taking them.

Unrelated to HIV my health wasn’t great last year was in a bad accident and wreaked my body. I’ve never been at ease with being on meds hence why I wasn’t great with them in the past but I’ve thought long about this and wont change my mind.

I dont want to live to be old because I wont have a good quality of life so id rather let hiv take me when im young. How long, I know you cant just say oh 1 year 2 years etc to me, but in general terms can I expect to live for?

And what kind of illnesses would I expect to get from the HIV?

I’ve had Hodgkin lymphoma in the past would that be likely to return?

Many thanks.

Answer

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through. I can appreciate it must be extremely hard for you to deal with so much at such a young age. Do you have anybody close to you who is supporting you through all this? Do any of your friends or family know about your HIV status, and have you spoken to anyone about the feelings you are grappling with?

To answer your direct question first, how long someone lives without ART will vary a lot. It might be as little as a few years or it might be much longer. If your CD4 count ever went very low, then HIV is likely to progress more quickly. If your CD4 count has always been high, then it would take longer. Maybe 5 to 8 years on average.

Letting HIV progress without ART would not be an easy or reliable way to end your life. Most to the complications of late stage HIV are very difficult and unpredictable. You can easily research this by looking at the early days before there was ART.

It sounds like you have had a lot of difficult things to deal with and HIV is only one of these. Without commenting on what you decide, the way you are writing sounds very close to someone with depression, which is an illness in itself and this is something that needs its own discussion with your doctor.

Without realising it, depression can take hold after a serious life threatening illness or traumatic event. It is common then to focus on something that seems certain and even better, like an earlier death, when time with a counsellor or advisor might help you see that other options are available, but which you just can’t see by yourself. Again, this is not a comment on the things you say, just something to think about.

Many people find it hard coping with an HIV diagnosis, let alone being diagnosed at such an early age and having to start treatment so soon after. Some people come to terms with it soon after, however, many more people take a long time. You are therefore not alone in feeling this way.

Although you were diagnosed just over 2 and a half years ago, it is still early days. It may take you some time to learn to cope with living with HIV and all that entails. With the right treatment, care and support, most people find that they begin to move on with their lives.

You mention that you don’t want to live to be old because you may not have a good quality of life. The reality is, you can live to be old and have a good quality of life, even with an HIV diagnosis.

The medication we now have available to treat HIV is very effective in enabling people to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. Some of the people I know who were diagnosed in their 20s and 30s are now becoming parents and grandparents.

You asked about how long you can expect to live. Modern HIV treatment (ART) now means that life expectancy for an HIV positive person is the same as an HIV negative person. This means you potentially have a lot of time work through the things that re difficult and to have time to enjoy life.

You mention that you were not adhering very well to your medication. Are there any particular issues that you were concerned with? Was it side effects, or was it just having to take pills? Did you speak to anyone at the hospital about finding it hard to adhere?

A good health advisor could talk about newer HIV meds that might be much easier to take.

Without knowing the details of your other complications, if you have responded well to treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma, you have already been very lucky. The chance of long term remission are similar as if you were HIV negative people. This is about 70% survival at five years, which in oncology is seen as similar to a cure rate.

Your other question was about whether the Hodgkins lymphoma is likely to return. As your CD4 count drops, as it will do when off treatment, this is likely to increase the risk that the Hodgkins could return.

Stopping treatment will mean your CD4 count and viral load are likely to quickly return to levels before you started treatment. If this has always been high, then if the break will help you for psychological reasons, the risks are relatively low. However, if your CD4 cont ever dropped below 350, and definitely if it went much lower, stopping treatment is much more risky.  The risk for Hodgkins to relapse is likely to be higher when you are not on HIV meds, compared to being  on treatment.

You said your CD4 count is about 500 and an undetectable viral load. These are a good indication that the medication was working really well. And that you are healthy.

The BHIVA (British HIV Association) guidelines recommend everyone should starting treatment even at high CD4 counts.

As you are based in the UK, you may find it useful, in the first instance, to chat with one of us over the phone. The i-Base treatment phoneline is 0808 800 6013. It is free from landlines and most UK mobile networks.

Other organisations you might find useful to contact are:

  • Positively UK – They support people living with HIV . They also have a mentoring service which you may find useful.  A mentor will be assigned to you and you can see them regularly over a period of time until you are ready to move on.
  • Body and Soul – they provide support to families living with HIV and have a service specifically for young HIV positive people like yourself.

Note: This answered was updated in April 2023, December 2021 and January 2017 from a question posted in January 2012. The answer was updated to reflect changes in treatment guidelines.

605 comments

  1. Julie

    If you have a death wish then stop the drugs, if you want to live to see many more sunrises, stay on your meds. I won’t soften the blow by saying you will die without your meds, because you will, I just buried my brother who thought for some reason he live even though he stopped the meds. Imagine to my surprise finding him half dead in his home and 2 weeks later burying him because he didn’t take his meds. I don’t care what anybody says on this forum, I’ve got first hand experience, stay on your meds if you want to live and there is a hell of what to live for and see in this world, believe you me, I’ve traveled all of the world, lived in Australia and love to live life and experience it all, if you have a curious nature, go discover and take your meds with you!
    I love you and want you to live, go enjoy life!

  2. Roy Trevelion

    Hi Manuel,

    If you decide to stop treatment, your viral load is likely to rebound within a week or two. If you stay off treatment your CD4 count will start to drop over the next few months. When this happens the risk of developing other infections and getting sick increases. Please see the Q&A here.

    Please also see this link to the SMART study which was stopped due to safety concerns for people on treatment interruption.

  3. manuel

    hi all, thank you for all the feedback. i’m not depressed, nor am i having side effects from my hiv medication. however, i am really interested in understanding what the effects of stopping my medication would be. i know from the literature that my counts would go back to what they were before i started the medication. i’m curios to know how quickly that would happen. from there, i suppose my body would take its course as if i hadn’t even started.

  4. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Gary,

    Thank you for sharing your some of your story with us.

  5. Gary

    Hi. I am so sorry that you are going through a really difficult, unbearable time. I am 58 years old and was diagnosed with HIV in 1985. For many, many years we did not have meds, or meds that were tolerable and try to hold on to a productive life. Believe me, these meds are a god send, but they are not all they make them out to be in my opinion,,but after almost dieing in 2010 I had no choice. I understand how you feel about the meds. I held off as long as I could. I tried several times but chose quality of life over sitting at home,,,I had no idea how to do that,,,so fast forward today. 58 and lots of issues, but I cannot trade the past 33 years for anything!!! I have a partner and we are married..been together 18 years. Past two and half years have seen my health take a nose dive, with cardiac issues, muscle and joint issues, some minor breathing issues and depression and anxiety, neurocognitive challenges, since I stopped working a little over two years ago…. BUT, starting meds early, early on could be a God send….maybe not perfect but a ray of sunshine to grab and hold on to… I think a lot lately about stopping my meds across the board,,,but for some reason I am still here and life is a gift,,,,just how I feel. My partner is quiet and supports me the best he can, but it’s probably harder on him than me, I think. An amazing part of my life is our Dog, who basically is now a service Dog… He is just so sweet and easy going and leaves me alone when I need that time, and sticks by me when he knows I am in a better mood. My God, what an amazing companion. To be very, very honest if it wasn’t for my Dog, I probably would not be here right now. I cannot imagine anyone taking care of him the way I do. Sounds a bit crazy, but this is how I feel.

    Please try to find a good Psychotherapist and talk your heart out. I have a great therapist and he too, has contributed to me hanging on. There will be a lot of challenges, but you have so, so much to live for…..I hope you find your way and can enjoy many, many more years. Every day is a bit tough for me, but yet, every day I am here is a blessing…. Wish you all the very, very best. Hugs…!!!

  6. Roy Trevelion

    Hi Thtuser01,

    Modern ART is easier to take with fewer side effects than earlier treatment. But of course your combination has to be one you can tolerate. With over 30 HIV drugs and formulations, there is a lot of choice. Newer drugs or combinations may also have become available while you’re trying to find the right one for you as an individual. Please see this link to the i-Base guide to changing treatment.

    Here is the i-Base guide to side effects and quality of life which has a lot of detailed information.

  7. Thtuser01

    1 in 4 people on hiv meds live with life debilitating side effects. 18 montjs of hell. 3 changes of medz. 5 clinicians. 3 clinics. The whole system is shocking. As for me tal support. Tjats a total joke

  8. Ta

    Take it one day at a time I stopped mine because it was giving me shortness of breath But I’m about to start back try to meditate

  9. Roy Trevelion

    Hi Cindy,

    I’m sorry, this sounds like it’s tough at the moment. But what is stressful about your medication? Are you getting side effects from them? If so you can talk to your doctor about changing to treatment that’s easier for you to take. You can ask at the clinic for support in taking your meds too.

    Being on HIV treatment (ART) can get your viral load to undetectable. And this can mean that your husband will not be at risk of HIV. The campaign at the moment is Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U) and you can read more about this here. Knowing about U=U might make your husband less moody.

  10. cindy

    Hi, I’m hiv positive and I stop taking my medication and always stressful I don’t know what to do, sometimes I feel like it’s better if I die coz I don’t like pills at all and the worse part is my husband is always moody since he found out about my status, please help

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