Q and A

Question

How long will I live if I stop taking my medication?

Hi,

I decided that at the beginning of December that I would stop taking my meds for good. I’m in my late 20s and had HIV now for about 2 and a half years. I started meds not long after I found out I was infected.

I went from being negative, to positive and on meds in the space of a year. In Nov my CD4 was just under 500 and my viral load was undetectable for the 1st time. At times I stopped my meds, had to change them and wasnt great at taking them.

Unrelated to HIV my health wasn’t great last year was in a bad accident and wreaked my body. I’ve never been at ease with being on meds hence why I wasn’t great with them in the past but I’ve thought long about this and wont change my mind.

I dont want to live to be old because I wont have a good quality of life so id rather let hiv take me when im young. How long, I know you cant just say oh 1 year 2 years etc to me, but in general terms can I expect to live for?

And what kind of illnesses would I expect to get from the HIV?

I’ve had Hodgkin lymphoma in the past would that be likely to return?

Many thanks.

Answer

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through. I can appreciate it must be extremely hard for you to deal with so much at such a young age. Do you have anybody close to you who is supporting you through all this? Do any of your friends or family know about your HIV status, and have you spoken to anyone about the feelings you are grappling with?

To answer your direct question first, how long someone lives without ART will vary a lot. It might be as little as a few years or it might be much longer. If your CD4 count ever went very low, then HIV is likely to progress more quickly. If your CD4 count has always been high, then it would take longer. Maybe 5 to 8 years on average.

Letting HIV progress without ART would not be an easy or reliable way to end your life. Most to the complications of late stage HIV are very difficult and unpredictable. You can easily research this by looking at the early days before there was ART.

It sounds like you have had a lot of difficult things to deal with and HIV is only one of these. Without commenting on what you decide, the way you are writing sounds very close to someone with depression, which is an illness in itself and this is something that needs its own discussion with your doctor.

Without realising it, depression can take hold after a serious life threatening illness or traumatic event. It is common then to focus on something that seems certain and even better, like an earlier death, when time with a counsellor or advisor might help you see that other options are available, but which you just can’t see by yourself. Again, this is not a comment on the things you say, just something to think about.

Many people find it hard coping with an HIV diagnosis, let alone being diagnosed at such an early age and having to start treatment so soon after. Some people come to terms with it soon after, however, many more people take a long time. You are therefore not alone in feeling this way.

Although you were diagnosed just over 2 and a half years ago, it is still early days. It may take you some time to learn to cope with living with HIV and all that entails. With the right treatment, care and support, most people find that they begin to move on with their lives.

You mention that you don’t want to live to be old because you may not have a good quality of life. The reality is, you can live to be old and have a good quality of life, even with an HIV diagnosis.

The medication we now have available to treat HIV is very effective in enabling people to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. Some of the people I know who were diagnosed in their 20s and 30s are now becoming parents and grandparents.

You asked about how long you can expect to live. Modern HIV treatment (ART) now means that life expectancy for an HIV positive person is the same as an HIV negative person. This means you potentially have a lot of time work through the things that re difficult and to have time to enjoy life.

You mention that you were not adhering very well to your medication. Are there any particular issues that you were concerned with? Was it side effects, or was it just having to take pills? Did you speak to anyone at the hospital about finding it hard to adhere?

A good health advisor could talk about newer HIV meds that might be much easier to take.

Without knowing the details of your other complications, if you have responded well to treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma, you have already been very lucky. The chance of long term remission are similar as if you were HIV negative people. This is about 70% survival at five years, which in oncology is seen as similar to a cure rate.

Your other question was about whether the Hodgkins lymphoma is likely to return. As your CD4 count drops, as it will do when off treatment, this is likely to increase the risk that the Hodgkins could return.

Stopping treatment will mean your CD4 count and viral load are likely to quickly return to levels before you started treatment. If this has always been high, then if the break will help you for psychological reasons, the risks are relatively low. However, if your CD4 cont ever dropped below 350, and definitely if it went much lower, stopping treatment is much more risky.  The risk for Hodgkins to relapse is likely to be higher when you are not on HIV meds, compared to being  on treatment.

You said your CD4 count is about 500 and an undetectable viral load. These are a good indication that the medication was working really well. And that you are healthy.

The BHIVA (British HIV Association) guidelines recommend everyone should starting treatment even at high CD4 counts.

As you are based in the UK, you may find it useful, in the first instance, to chat with one of us over the phone. The i-Base treatment phoneline is 0808 800 6013. It is free from landlines and most UK mobile networks.

Other organisations you might find useful to contact are:

  • Positively UK – They support people living with HIV . They also have a mentoring service which you may find useful.  A mentor will be assigned to you and you can see them regularly over a period of time until you are ready to move on.
  • Body and Soul – they provide support to families living with HIV and have a service specifically for young HIV positive people like yourself.

Note: This answered was updated in April 2023, December 2021 and January 2017 from a question posted in January 2012. The answer was updated to reflect changes in treatment guidelines.

605 comments

  1. Simon Collins

    Hi Avionne, I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Many people become positive because of a partner who didn’t say (or sometimes know) that they were HIV positive. Whatever the details, it takes a lot of support and time to build up self-confidence enough to trust other people again.

    If you have stopped your meds, please get in tough with your hospital again. The will be worrying about you. t least do this so you can have your CD4 monitoring again and then talk about other treatments. There are newer drugs that don’t have the same side effects.

    It sounds like you have a lot of good things in your life, including having your children Getting support to help you through this difficult time will be important for you and for them.

    Please also see this recent post which has other information to help.
    http://i-base.info/qa/11906

  2. Avionne

    Hi i was diagnosed with hiv about 2yrs now i also stopped taking my meds cause it makes me sick. i feel so unhappy about myself and sometimes i wish i could die. i also have suicidal thoughts i don’t know what to do. i just wish someone can find a cure cause I’m fed up of this feeling. i have three children but i hate myself so much for trusting people cause that’s why I’m in this predicament cause of my ex-boyfriend.

  3. Simon Collins

    Hi Loyal, please contact your doctor so that they know about your decision. If you are not on treatment, then the monitoring will be much more important.

    Because you started with a high CD4 count, your risk of health problems is likely to be low – at least while your CD4 count stays high. It would be good if you could use this time to get support so that the fear of hiding HIV is something you might be able to overcome.

    I don’t know your circumstances, but there must be thousands of other people who are positive in the area you live – and definitely in your country. Are you in touch with anyone else. Is there anyone you can talk this through with. You doctor does need to know though and will be worrying about you if you just stop going for check-ups.

  4. Loyal

    Been (+) for 5yrs… started treatment while cd4 was above 500, and viral load below 4000, 3yrs ago…

    3mnths ago, I’ve decided to stop with my treatment plan. Just got tired of hiding it. Tired of sneaking and stashing, so that no one knows…

    Motivation – gone. Ambition – none…

    At least I know I may have some time to think and rethink about my decision

  5. Simon Collins

    Thanks Mike – great to hear your experience :)

  6. Mike

    I hope to spread some hope and cheer. I’m 78. I’ve been +ve for 26 years I take 3 tabs a day at 20.00. I live a normal (married) life I’m healthy, happy and look after my 1 acre land and my chickens. I never give HIV a thought, and NEVER miss my meds. I get a check-up once a year and so far get told I’m fine. I can eat what I like and drink what I like. I don’t smoke or take drugs. I advise ‘get into a habit and forget your ‘problem’ as it needn’t be a problem.

    Mike.

  7. Simon Collins

    Hi Calvin, it is good that you have had such a good response to treatment. Rather than stopping treatment, it is important that you continue. Otherwise, if you stop, your CD4 count will drop again and undo all the good work.

    Until we find a cure, HIV meds are continuous treatment for most people. It is not a good idea to stop.

    Also, in terms of planning a family, the information about ARVs stopping transmission at this link might also be important.
    http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/

  8. Calvin

    Hi I’m Calvin and I must commend you on the great work you’re doing. My question is, I have been HIV positive for 10 years now and my CD4 just pass the 600 hundred mark. Now to my question. At what level my CD4 have to be in order for me to come off medication? I haven’t told my girl friend as yet and we are planning on getting married soon, please can you advise me on how to break the news to her? Thank you in advance.

  9. Simon Collins

    Hi Orian. It is difficult to find out you are positive and it will take time for you to come to terms with this. Many couple find out that only one partner is positive and they still continue to have happy lives together. One change is that you will need to use a condom to reduce the risk to your wife, but after you are on effective treatment, you will be able to go back to life as normal if this is something you both want.
    These two links might help.
    http://i-base.info/just-found-out
    and
    http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study

  10. Orian

    I just tested and I’m hiv positive. The problem is I’m married and she is neg and don’t know what to do please tell
    me.

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