Question
Are there websites to meet other HIV positive people?
27 March 2012. Related: All topics, Living with HIV long-term, Support.
I am an HIV positive heterosexual British woman. I had chosen the single life since my diagnosis five years ago. But now I feel ready to start dating again and would love to find a partner that I can maybe share a future with. I refuse to sit on the shelf anymore and give in to a solitary future because of my HIV!
Unfortunately, I have not had very good reactions when I have disclosed my HIV status and have been the victim of ignorant gossip as a result. So I was wondering, are there any free dating sites for people living with HIV in the UK?
Answer
It is good that you want to start dating again. The shock from an HIV diagnosis often makes people want to wait before dating again. Sometimes it takes time to build up the strength and confidence to want to do this.
Deciding to meet other positive people has a lot of advantages and one of the easiest ways to make contact with people is to use the internet.
The community forums at poz.com include a personals section that has free registration and many thousands of international users (including from the UK). This might be a good place to start.
You do not have to live alone just because of your HIV status. There are many people in a similar situation just like you, but they have managed to find someone that they can share and enjoy their lives with. This is a very encouraging and a positive step that you have made towards your future.
Community-based sites are likely to be better that commercial sites that require fees. Most community sites though include options to access more feature by subscribing.
If the forums here are not helpful, you could start a discussion to see whether other members have found other sites helpful.
There are lots of online resources about internet dating that talk about how to do this safely. This includes taking care when giving out personal information and if you get to the point of wanting to meet, to do this in a public place, with a friend knowing your plans.
The check list at this link is a good overview if you are new to meeting people by internet.
Hi Jenny, thanks – I hope that this is something that works out well for you – I am sorry i-Base can’t put people in touch.
I need a serious relationship
Hello Kits and many thanks for getting in touch.
I completely understand your point and yes relationships are hard and of course stigma is not making things any easier.
You are an amazing person.
Your life has been full of challenges but you have been very strong and resilient.
Remember that.
It’s so great to hear you already have a son too. You must be very proud.
I don’t think there is an easy answer to your question or something you can do in specific to meet a partner.
In part it’s all dependent on luck and sometimes being out there and available is more than enough to meet the right person.
Sometimes it is not.
What is always a very attractive quality is a person’s knowledge of themselves.
It is important to remember how special you are, how strong you are and have been, so resilient.
It is important to find a partner who will love and care for you, one who will support you in your life.
You deserve someone who will see you as a person with all your characteristics and qualities.
You deserve someone who will care for you and be there for you.
Please don’t settle for anything less.
Kits have you discussed this with someone else?
Sometimes a counsellor or therapist or even a trusted friend can help us see things from a different perspective.
They can help us set our priorities straight, appreciate ourselves and get confident about our actions.
In the UK we have community organisations that can offer support and sometimes you can access help through your clinic.
Are services like that available where you are based?
Please don’t hesitate to contact us at questions@i-base.org.uk if you want to continue this discussion privately.
I am tired of loneliness, I need a partner. I was born with HIV. I am now 28yrs, with a negative son. Looking someone for a serious relationship
Hi Martha, thanks – I am sorry that i-Base can’t help as a contact agency to put you in touch with other people. Good luck in finding a partner.
I am hiv positive, aged 21 years old, am from Uganda, I need a man for serious relationship – I am single and without a kid. I just finished my studies.
Hi Sonia, yep this would be useful – and sorry we can’t provide it. Try http://www.poz.com though as I think they still run one
Greetings dear admin. I appreciate all the efforts you guys are putting to support hiv positive people. There is still a need in the domain of dating.I think there should be a forum with100 % free access to positive persons.
Hi Zoe – thanks – this is a great thing to decide – I am sorry that i-Base can’t connect people but I hope everything works out well.
I’m 33 wishing to have a man who will give me a second chance in love again