Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi ! My wife is HIV + me im HIV-. She tested when she was pregnant in 2010 and find that. I supporte her and she is on Rx since then. Now day by day im lost of sex intrest to ther and she noticed that and i told her that. But problem i lost that interest to her only. And im not using condom to her ever we started love. I tested and testing each an evry six month and negetiv my last tes was 25 may 2018. I try to have girl friend aside and she is negetive the water is boiling there. Is it bcoz i know her status? Should i tell her why i lost my sex interest to her.? I luv her and i support her so much. Infact, its bcoz i know her status. What should I do to maintane my marrage. Please help and advise me.
Hi Mpho,
If your viral load is undetectable, then its ok to continue having sex without using a condom. However, if your viral load is detectable, then even if so far your husband has remained negative there is a risk of transmission. Do you know what your viral load is?
Hi I stayed with my husband for 7 years without knowing that I’m hiv positive and he is negative and we were not using condoms so can we start using it or continue
Hi Kebwe,
HIV can take a few years before you have symptoms. But you can ask for an HIV test if you think you are HIV positive.
my question is,how long can somebody live with HIV-virus without knowing?
Hi Lerato,
Most people will miss a dose at some point, but so long as this is not every week, this is also okay. This question is already answered here.The more doses you miss though the more likely there will be viral rebound.
We are the sero different couple,but my fear is my fiance is sometimes skip the day without treatment but however his viral load is stil below 50 copies and his cd4 count it 389 is there risk of being infectual?
Hi Jacque,
Its not possible for anyone to say at this stage if your son will be positive or not. However, you being on treatment will reduce the risk of transmission. Please see here for more info:
http://i-base.info/guides/pregnancy
Hey i found out last year October that I’m HIV positive and my cd4 count was 470 and i was pregnant, and they put me on treatment immediately.is it possible that my son is infected?
Hi Keane,
Using a condom every time you have sex can prevent HIV transmission. So you are having low risk sex. Is your girlfriend on HIV treatment? If she is, and viral load is undetectable, transmission of HIV without condoms is zero. Please see U=U.