Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hello my name is caroline ,i am hiv possitive and my spouse is not how can I be able to give birth with out transmitting this to my husband and to my child thanks
Hi Bontle,
He says he really loves her and he asks if they can have a baby. Angelina’s answer is clear, she says,
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. If your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
http://i-base.info/htb/32308
Does dis means if um positive, bcz he dnt want us hv sex without protection, there is no love or wht,
Hi Palesa,
Have you ever thought that he may be using your status as an excuses?
If he wants proof that there’s no risk, get him to read Q’s 9 and 14 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
My partner is negative nd m positive… He accepted me from the start nd l suggested we have condom until he decided to have unprotected sex with him cos he always wanted a baby…Im on medication Nd my viral load is undetectable …Now he changes he said he is no longer wants to take a risk with me cos of my status… How can l convince him …cos l told him before about my viral load Nd explain to him , how does it works
I feel offended by what he is doing Nd hurt by his deeds, And he goes test regularly Nd still tested Negative.. How can l convince him cos he wanted to breakup with me after 8 years… Plz help.
Hi Jones,
If your resent test comes back positive, please get back in touch. We’ll be able to help you. Until you know for sure, so 100% there’s no need to take meds.
hi last month me and my girlfriend tested negative but when i went for circumcision recently i tested positive with one line visible on c and the other on t1 not that visible. then they took my blood, can it come back negative or should i take treatment
Hi Safa,
Please see Q1 here: http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
Hey Roy,
Please tell me which test is accurate for HIV+ I have Unprotected sex and i have got symptoms so tell me which test will be best
Hi Safa.
No one can predict how long someone will live if they aren’t on medication. This is why its important to be on meds as we know that a persons life expectancy is basically the same to what it would have been had they not contracted HIV.