Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi Ellen,
If your viral load is undetectable then there isn’t any risk. Please see here: http://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
Do you know what your viral load is?
My name is Ellen I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend and m positive m taking my medicine correctly ..before we used to use condoms but now she asked me if I love her why do you use condoms they we decided not to …but my main problem is that I didn’t tell her that m positive I always wanted but didn’t want to complicate things ..she went to test she was negative .but m very scared now if she becomes positive because we don’t use condoms anymore .
Hi Aliya,
Unfortunately i-Base doesn’t have resources to answer questions about risk and transmission. But please see all frequently asked questions here.
I had a sex with my gf and condom break,I refer her to test, the lab said that it is not clear that he should go for confirmation,I became worried since then,is there any chance of getting infected and what can make it not to be clear, thanks.
Hi Eric,
Please see the following link: http://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
I had a sex with my postive girl but she is on med treatment and she said her viral load is low after she went for the test to a doctor, it was on 2nd , Nov 2018. My question is is it true that I have no risk?
Hi,
If your girlfriends viral load is good then as Roy said there’s no risk
Yes she is taking meds but sh said her viral load was good when she was tested in January this year
Hi Takudzwa,
Is your gf taking HIV meds? If she has had an undetectable viral load on HIV treatment, the risk to you is zero. Please see undetectable = untransmittable (U=U).
I had unprotected sex with my positive gf since august this year up to november and i tested negative on 5 november but am still worried if i could be positive soon