Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi Sumedh,
If a man’s viral load is undetectable, and that means under 50 copies, it shouldn’t cause any problems if he marries someone who is HIV negative.
Being undetectable means that you can’t transmit HIV to your partner if you don’t use condoms. A viral load of zero will protect his partner from HIV. And they can try for a baby in the regular way without using condoms.
But he and his partner can talk to the doctor for support when deciding to have children.
Here’s a link to Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U).
Sir
Hiv positive
Hiv person viral load is zero, after he marry (hiv negative ) any problems comes ofter married
Hiv negative person was reacting
Hi Clement,
Please see Q5 here: http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I have sleeping with my partner more than six months then she found out yesterday she is pregnant and HIV positive so was supposed to do text too mine said negative guys help me am confused agent please.
Hi Heath,
Many thanks for this story. It’s lovely news for you, your wife and your healthy boy.
Good news is that you can have a healthy child if either one or both of you have HIV but the viral load has to be undetectable in the mother.I know first hand because my wife and I are hiv + but we have a healthy boy who doesnot have the virus.
Hi Thabo,
HIV is difficult to catch. Please see this question here. But it’s great that your girlfriend is taking ARVs. This can dramatically reduce the risk of transmitting HIV.
ARVs reduce the amount of HIV in the blood so much that it can’t be detected. So if your girlfriend’s viral load test is undetectable the risk to you is zero. Being undetectable means that HIV cannot be transmitted even if you don’t use condoms. Please see this link to Undetectable = Untransmittable.
My girlfriend is tested positive in october and she told me yesterday that she is positive all along we had unprotected sex today i went to test resul come out negative. My partner is taking arv at the moment is’t possible that I’m positive too?
Hi Dess,
Almost everyone (99.9%) produces antibodies to HIV 3 months after exposure – or finishing PEP. For more info please see this link.
I work abroad away from my girl…we met more than a year now….. I go home to her Every 4 months….am usually a responsible guy and in the beginning of every relationship I always ask to be tested. But with her we never really went to do it….all along we have been using condoms……mid July I went home and after some drinks we had unprotected sex four times…….. In the morning I panicked and took her for testing to which she tested positive for HIV….. It was a shock for both of us…. After tears and counseling she was given Arvs and I was given pep(post exposure meds)….. Vacation turned to a nightmare completed taking my final dose and had test done a month … Two months… And the third…. All this is from date of contact…. Av never gone again…. I was told to go back after six months for one more confirmatory test……… Am now on the sixth month of this trying time and I still hold my breath about my outcome…