Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi Ndau,
Tribuss is widely used as treatment for HIV. It contains the drugs efavirenz, FTC and tenofovir. It’s a combination that’s now used by many HIV positive pregnant women worldwide. Taking Tribuss can help to protect your health and your baby’s health. And so it’s a recommended treatment for pregnant women.
I’m not sure why the clinic don’t know your CD4 count. It’s a good idea to ask for results, or new tests, when you go back for your next appointment.
You can find out more about HIV, women’s health and pregnancy in this guide:
http://i-base.info/guides/pregnancy
I found out I was HIV positive in May and also pregnant, I was hurt and scared until I go to a clinic today 01 August, I’m healthy and even gained weight because of pregnancy, they took blood and gave me Tribuss tablets without knowing my CD4 count. Is this HIV treatment? And why it was given to me without knowing a CD4 count?
Hi, If your girlfriend is on HIV treatment (ART) and has an undetectable viral load it’s not easy for you to get infected.
A similar question has been answered here:
http://i-base.info/qa/11752
I don’t have HIV and my girlfriend has, I love her, she loves me. How could I get this infection?
Your comment cover two different things. One is bout risk – with is very low and perhaps close to zero. Please see this link to a study that show how HIV treatment dramatically reduces the risk of transmission: http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study. The sound point is about disclosure and ethics. This is more difficult, but really your partner should be able to chose and be informed. In any countries, not telling someone you are positive can lead to legal action, even if there is no transmission or risk. This discrimination might not be right, but you should be aware of it.
i am 37 yrs old i knew about my status when i was 25 years old my problem is that am having problem with marriage based on my status. now my viral load is undetectable. Do i need to inform my partner can my partner and baby be safe if am taking my drugs and eating good foods? because am tired of stigmatization. i am healthy and physically fit
Hi, This is posted as a new comment here
Best wishes,
Roy
Scientists need to do something about this hiv/aid,, is like they just sit down and relax cos of antiretroviral drug, ok,they found solution and cure for ebola cos the put intrest on it,, for someone being on drugs day by day not fair is better let them find a cure for it,, we heard that cancer drugs cures someone with hiv and cancer,, so what are they waiting for to prove the drug to be using for hiv cure? Let them enter bush,,do research with natures,they must get the solution, so all this antitroviral drugs, ,cd4,viral
Load,, day by day story need to be tackle.., scentistst this is ur job!!!! Stop kept in quiet and idle cos of antitroviral solution, is not enough, hiv need to be tackle down, floush out completely from blood system, ,thanks…..
Hi, Going on HIV treatment can improve your health, especially in the long term. But some HIV drugs can have side effects. However with modern drugs any side effects can be mild and easy to manage.
Starting HIV treatment (ART) is now recommended at any CD4 count if you’re HIV positive. You can find out about starting ART here.
Many congratulations on the proposal of marriage and kids. You can find out more about HIV and pregnancy here:
http://i-base.info/guides/pregnancy
I am 29 years old and HIV positive. I got HIV when I was 21. I have a healthy child aged 7. When I went to check my CD4 count last time it was 1500. And I am not on treatment, I am fit and fine. But I am dating someone who is HIV positive, he is on treatment and he is asking for marriage and says he wants kids. So I’m scared. Is it not going to make my health bad and sick if I end up on treatment.