Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi Chris, if your gf is on Tribuss then the risk to you is close to zero. HIV is a difficult virus to catch anyway but this link will show more details about the impact of treatment.
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study
You gf may or may not want to talk about this, but if you can find a way to let her know you support here this might help.
My gf is positive am I gonna get affected coz I already slp with her and I realised after a month when I got trubiss tablets in to her bag..plz help me
Hi Abubakar
Please can you see the detailed answer at this link :)
http://i-base.info/qa/11931
thanks
I Abubakar Saudi am looking for a HIV pasitive to marry am Nigeria live Abuja.
Hi Nosipho, I can’t comment on your test results. A doctor needs to decide whether you are HIV positive or not. If you started HIV meds based on the worng results, then there is no risk to you partner from this.
I am hiv negetive but the nurse said am positive i started takin arvs. after a month i tested found that am negetive but have already taken arvs. will this pills have negetive impacts o my boyfriend? will he had hiv because of this pills am taking?
Hi Eruolorun. It is great that you want to support your partner and to be there for her. If she only just found out she is HIV positive, this might take time to come to terms with. Taking about this will be important but your partner might need time before she feels able to do this. The best thing you can do is to be around during what might be a difficult few weeks and probably months. It is also goos to say how you feel. There are many couples in the same situation as you and many work through this to become much stronger. Good luck with everything.
These two links might help.
http://i-base.info/just-found-out
and
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study
I am nagetive and she is positive and I love her. I am concerned and want to help. What can I do. thanks
Sex should be consensual. This means that each partner says what they want to do and not do. Sex that ignores these boundaries is assault. I don;t understand all your comment (about stringe). You are at risk of catching an STI if your partners infection in not yet fully treated. Please talk to your doctor about all these concerns.
Please what if the partner who is negative being the woman does not want him the positive partner to ejaculate and insert into vagina with stringe what would be done….what if she wants to have her man inside her? what advise can you give such individual,again the partner who is positive has staphlocucus but treating it seriously can he infect her…