Question
If we are both positive, do we need condoms?
5 February 2012. Related: All topics, HIV reinfection (superinfection), HIV transmission, Living with HIV long-term.
i am HIV positive and on treatment (ARVs). My wife is also positive but not on treatment. We often use condoms, but once in two months we go ‘unprotected’ when we are without condoms. What are risks associated with our ‘unprotected’ sex? It now appears to be a practice to go without condoms at least once in two months.
Answer
Hello,
Thank you for your question.
The main benefit of condoms is to protect against pregnancy and some other STI’s.
So the quick answer is if these are not a concern, it is fine to not use condoms. This is based on what you both prefer.
Actually, many couples say this is one of the few advantages of both being positive.
This is if your viral load in undetectable. If your viral load is detectable though, there is a small risk that your wife could become reinfected with drug resistant HIV.
Does your wife plan to start ART soon? In 2018, ART is recommended for everyone, and if you were both on treatment with undetectable viral load, they would be no risk to either of you.
Drug resistance can happen if you often miss doses of your medication.
There is more information about the risks of reinfection in this guide to HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission.
Note: This answer was updated in February 2018 from a question first posted online in June 2012.
Im hiv n my boyfriend his negative we have two gals now n im taking treatment he don’t want to use condoms is it ok for him n for me not using condoms
Hi Pinky, you do not have AIDS because your CD4 count is so high and your viral load is undetectable. This means you are doing very well. The undetectable viral load also means that your boyfriends is protected if he is HIV negative. I can’t explain the weight loss – but this is something to ask your doctor about. Mainly this will involved having a balanced nutritious diet.
Hi..I’m HIV + and I’ve been on ARVs for ten years now..I have a boyfriend..he doesn’t know about my status and I don’t know about his status..we use unprotected sex.I have lost weight but my CD 4 count is on 657 and viral load undetectable…I’m worried but my weight…and I’m scared that l might have full blown aids…Please help me what should l do to gain weight? & what should l do to make sure that lm healthy
Hi Nhlan
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Even without the doctor’s mistake, your son might have started to change how he felt about treatment.
This is a common issue for many mothers. Do you have other people you can talk to? What does the doctor and other health workers suggest. Do you know ther people in the same situation – or does your son know other children who are taking meds? Linking to others can often help.
Other options might be available to take fewer meds but this will depend on your son’s medical history. Which meds is your son currently taking? If you would prefer to email privately please contact me at: simon.collins@i-Base.org.uk
Hello I’m hiv with my 10 year old boy.his being taking treatment since he was six month now he’s 10 years old,but this year was a bad year for him the doctor gave him the wrong medication ( overdose)now he don’t want to take the pills again I don’t know what to say,while he keeps on asking me when will he stop taking the pills I don’t know what to say.im stressed I don’t know where to start.please help
Hi Lwazi, if you are both happy to do this, then pregnancy and STIs are the main reasons to still use condoms. If you are both positive and these are not concerns, then it is fine to enjoy sex without condoms.
There is one other point. If your wife is breastfeeding then I assume she is taking HIV treatment. If you are both taking HIV treatment and both have an undetectable viral load, then there is even less to worry about.
If either one of you have detectable viral load on treatment, there is a risk that this might be transmitted to the other partner. If you are not yet on treatment yet, this is not a worry.
Hi, i am HIV + and my wife too, my cd4 count is 521 and my wifes is 350, we have ran out of condoms and we are considering not using them at all, my wife is on birthcontrol and brestfeeding. can we have sex without the condom?
Hi Benjamin, I don’t understand your post which I have slightly edited? Are you worried about having put someone at risk and linking this to these feelings?
It is okay to email me personally if you want to email off-line: questions@i-base.org.uk
Am HIV since 2003, first I didn’t want to have children but that I was young and never realised the importance of being a father (27) after five years I meet a girl of 17, she loved me till today. But every day there are things I don’t want to reveal. We got a daughter of 6 and she is pregnant again too. What can u say about me, selfish, murder unresponsive man. Who I am?
Hi Oscars This choice is for you and your partner. One of the few benefits from having a positive partner is not having to worry about the risk of HIV transmission. Condoms are generally only needed for contraception of if you are worried about STIs.