Question
Can positive people marry and have a family?
13 July 2020. Related: All topics, CD4 and viral load, HIV transmission.
I’m positive, whereas my partner is negative, can we marry and have a family? Will I be negative if I take medication?
Answer
Thanks for getting in touch.
If you want to get married as well as have children, then yes, you can. Your HIV shouldn’t be a barrier to this. HIV is now easy to control and once on effective treatment, and your viral load is undetectable you can’t transmit HIV to a sexual partner. Please see here: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/ Therefore you can have kids.
As you’re interested in having a child, you may find the following helpful: https://i-base.info/guides/pregnancy
With regards to becoming negative, your HIV is controlled by taking ARVs. If you were to stop taking meds, your viral load would rebound and your HIV would no longer be under control.
Hi Riomod, how is your cousin doing? Has he now started treatment? and has anyone else in the family been tested for HIV?
Chicken pox is not a symptom of HIV but it is possible he was more at risk. Have you been told what is CD4 count and viral load is?
As your cousin if HIV positive it is likely they will need a medication to treatment it. This is commonly a drug called aciclovir. Have the doctors offered any of this treatment and how is your cousin doing generally?
Hi my little cousin has chicken pox and we decided to take him to the clinic for a test and after a couple of test we found out today that my little cousin of 14 years old has HIV and we still in doubt of how this happened as he is still little. Is chicken pox a symptom of HIV? If this is true how do we manage this as I feel so sorry for him and I am worried if he can get married and have kids in the future
Hi Sheddy, being HIV does not need to impact on your life and your aspirations.
When on treatment and viral load is suppressed with a healthy CD4 count, there is no further impact on health and life expectancy is considered the same, or ever better as someone HIV negative.
Your status should not impact on your ability to play football or any other sport. There is no risk to anyone and there is no harm to yourself by following these aspirations.
As a HIV positive and you are a footballer aspirants
Has d dream ended or is there stil hope of making it irrespective of ur health issue?
Please am confused and over thinking
Hi Bernard, yes you can marry and have unprotected sex. As your girlfriend has an undetectable viral load there is no risk of transmission. This is called U=U: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
This will also mean that she can have a baby and breastfeed. Being undetectable is able to greatly reduce the risk of transmission to baby. They can also be given their own treatment for a short while after birth to help reduce the risk further.
Hi
Am in Africa but my girlfriend who I intend to marry has HIV, now I don’t know what to do? Her viral load is undetected, can I have unprotected sex with her all the time, can she give birth and breastfeed,
Please any solution or answers to my doubts.
Hi Nag, it is great to hear that you have been doing well since finding out you are HIV positive. Even more so that you have a really healthy CD4 count.
It’s also good to hear that your partner is being supportive. It is a great idea to speak with your doctor and help explain things through. As she is already being supportive, it suggests that she will remain as such after you disclose to her. Make sure to do it in your own time and you are comfortable to do so.
Josh Peasegood,
Thanks for the reply.
I’m doing great.
Done my cd4 test recently and it went to 650.
Viral load test results are yet to come.
Actually I feel a better person now.
Hiv has brought a lot of changes in me.
I decreased smoking, alcohol consumption started excersing, avoiding junk food.
Coming to my Hiv disclosure with my partner, I never got a chance to discuss with her. But I said her that I recently came to know about one health issue and I’m looking for a solution. She said that she would be with me and not leave me even if I had health problem. I said that give me some time for me to tell what exactly is my health issue. She was ok with that.
But even if I disclose her, she would have the hiv fear. I’m looking out for a solution for that.
I feel like taking doctors help and make the doctor understand her about hiv and how it can be managed. Also make her understand that a Hiv positive person can marry a hiv negative person.
Hi Nag, how are you doing since finding out about being HIV positive?
It is great that you started treatment so soon. Do you know your viral load?
How does your partner feel about HIV? Have you had any conversations around the topic? and would you feel safe to tell your partner?
When on treatment and are undetectable it means there will be no risk of transmission to your partner. This is called U=U: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
It is not uncommon for people to find it difficult to disclose their status to their partners. It is a very personal choice and you need to make sure you are comfortable to do so. This is a link to our disclosure Q&A: https://i-base.info/qa/category/disclosure
Hi,
I’m nag from India.
I got to know that I’m hiv positive in may and I started my arv tablet in June and taking them regularly. My cd4 was 446 initially.
I love a girl and planning to marry her. Since I’m hiv positive, I’m in dilemma about disclosing my status. I don’t want to lose the girl I love.
Do I need to visit doctor and take his help and make the girl understand that there is no harm in marrying a hiv positive person.
Any suggestions on how should I disclose my status ?