Question
My partner doesn’t use a condom – how can I tell him about HIV?
1 November 2025. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
I’m afraid to tell my partner that I’m hiv positive and we have sex for 6 months now he doesn’t want condom,must I lie to him going to the clinic and tell him that I found it now that I’m hiv positive?
Answer
This is a difficult situation because it doesn’t sound very equal or balanced.
Does your partner ask you about not using condoms?
Has he asked you about how you feel about the risk he puts you in for pregnancy and your sexual health?
If not, then how is he considering what is good for you.
Starting from this imbalance also puts all the stress and responsibility on you. This isn’t good either. It means you have being worrying about this all this time and can’t have been fully able to enjoy time together.
Talking about HIV early on often still scares people away. This is even before they can learn about new treatment and U=U.
Then if things go well and you like the person it feels like there is more to loose. It also gets more difficult the longer it goes – even though this person is at zero risk – and even though they are the just as responsible.
This link has a few ideas for ways that can help – but every situation will be different.
https://i-base.info/qa/26038
In a way, people living with HIV will nearly always have to be the people that lead these discussions because we are more up to date with latest information. We might still loose a few potential partners, but better to maybe loose them earlier than later on if they are not really going to support this small part of our life.
I am sorry that things are like this but I hope everything goes well.
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