Question
Can I have a future with someone who is living with HIV?
28 January 2026. Related: All topics, Children, Sero different couples.
Hello, I am from Uganda and I happen to have along time friend who has always been supportive in all accepts and I really appreciate every bit. We happen to start having strong feels and we wanted to have a different relationship “love”.
But we gave our selves a chance to talk about what we wanted to enter into and since we are already and real to each other this time round he opened up to me the he was HIV positive.
i like him I need him and I really don’t want to loose him because we have been planing the future together in all kinds .What can I do? I really need him. I told him to give me time I think about it because my future includes marriage, kids and I would like a happy family.
What should I do please?
Answer
Hi there
Thanks for your email and for letting us post an anonymised answer online.
Firstly, it is great that you have connected with someone and that you want to plan a future together.
Secondly, i-Base can’t say what to do because this is your decision and i-Base is not an advice line.
We are an information service though and the following information might help.
Modern HIV meds are incredibly effective. This means that so long as your partner is taking treatment they can expect to live a long and healthy life.
The meds are also so effective that so long as their viral load is undetectable, they stop HIV being transmitted, even when not using a condom. This is called U=U and there is more info here:
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
This also means that if a couple are planning a family, it is easy to conceive naturally, without any risk to the HIV negative partner or to the baby. Please see Q7 at this link, although some of the other Q&As might also be of interest:
https://i-base.info/qa/most-asked-questions
These things have all been proven in large international studies.
Finally, just a comment to say that globally there are millions of people taking HIV treatment who are in relationships where one person is positive and the other is HIV negative. Many of these couples have families too where the children are also negative.
The stigma against HIV is still difficult of course, which means that your partner must really trust you to have been able to share this information with you. This means that you already have a great relationship to build on. It means that you can talk about anything that worries either of you. There is no reason why HIV should stop the plans you would like to have and it might even make a strong bond for your relationship in the future.
I hope this information helps and I wish you both well.
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