Question
Why did my partner test positive when I tested negative?
19 April 2022. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I have been together for six years. He tested positive three years ago.
Automatically assuming I would be infected already we continued to have unsafe sex. I never went for a test until three years later in 2012.
He was beginning his treatment and wanted me to do the same, but when I went to my local clinic I tested HIV negative.
Can I trust these results or should I worry about testing HIV positive in near future? I’m so confused!
Answer
The risk of catching HIV is low compared to many other infections.
So your situation is common to still be negative even if without condoms with someone who is HIV positive. Your negative result is also related to good luck – so it is not good to rely on this in the future.
As your partner has just started treatment, the risk of transmission will already be much lower. Then, once his viral load becomes undetectable the risk is effectively zero.
The PARTNER studies showed that ART stops sexual transmission. For example, after more than 100,000 times that an HIV positive person had sex without a condom with an HIV negative partner, there were ZERO transmissions. Viral load just needs to be undetectable on ART.
This and other studies led to the U=U campaign (undetectable = untransmittable).
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
This guide to HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission includes more info on transmission risk. Also, the answer to Question 9 on our most asked questions page:
Can we stop using condoms if viral load is undetectable on treatment?
If your partner is not on treatment or if he still has detectable viral load, then using condoms will make sure you stay negative. Another option is to talk to your doctor about PtRP, which is where you can take a pill that will protect you against HIV. The UK guide to PrEP has more info.
Note: This answer was updated in 2016, 2018 and 2022 from a question first posted online in July 2012.
I am in relationship with a guy who is HIV positive and is already taking meds. I’ve been testing all the last year and now but I am still negative. We dont use condoms even once….I am confused. .
Hi Bongnani,
No. Please see Q1 here:
https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
Can you get HIV by deep kissing
Hi Bongnani,
Please see Q1 here:
https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I had sex with an HIV gal and da condom broke on 21st of October. 2016 thn tested this month and I was negative although iv been kissing her with deep kissing am I still at risk just wanna knw tht Pls take away da stress I have
Hi 0Amanda,
Its great to hear that you’re son is negative.
I can’t say how you contracted HIV, only you can know this. What’s important is that you know. This means you will be able to help control your HIV. Are you on meds?
My baby daddy is negative and my partner is negative. I have a child he is two years now. I breast feed him for 1 year and 11 month. I tested him this year January, he is negative. Why am I positive?
Hi Yvonne,
If he isn’t on treatment, or his viral load is detectable you will need to test. Please see Q1 here:
https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I’ve been having sex with some guy. I think he’s positive, what should I do?
Hi Karen,
Being told that you’re HIV positive can be shock. And it can also be hard to talk about owing to the misguides stigma that is associated to HIV. What’s important to know is that HIV is now a very manageable health condition. The meds that are used to treat it are excellent.
As of yet there is no cure, therefore you will always be HIV positive. However, like I’ve said, there is treatment for it, and it’s great.
Have you been advised to start meds?