Q and A

Question

Why did my partner test positive when I tested negative?

My partner and I have been together for six years. He tested positive three years ago.

Automatically assuming I would be infected already we continued to have unsafe sex. I never went for a test until three years later in 2012.

He was beginning his treatment and wanted me to do the same, but when I went to my local clinic I tested HIV negative.

Can I trust these results or should I worry about testing HIV positive in near future? I’m so confused!

Answer

The risk of catching HIV is low compared to many other infections.

So your situation is common to still be negative even if without condoms with someone who is HIV positive. Your negative result is also related to good luck – so it is not good to rely on this in the future.

As your partner has just started treatment, the risk of transmission will already be much lower. Then, once his viral load becomes undetectable the risk is effectively zero.

The PARTNER studies showed that ART stops sexual transmission.  For example, after more than 100,000 times that an HIV positive person had sex without a condom with an HIV negative partner, there were ZERO transmissions. Viral load just needs to be undetectable on ART.

This and other studies led to the U=U campaign (undetectable = untransmittable).
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/

This guide to HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission includes more info on transmission risk. Also, the answer to Question 9 on our most asked questions page:
Can we stop using condoms if viral load is undetectable on treatment?

If your partner is not on treatment or if he still has detectable viral load, then using condoms will make sure you stay negative. Another option is to talk to your doctor about PtRP, which is where you can take a pill that will protect you against HIV. The UK guide to PrEP has more info.

Note: This answer was updated in 2016, 2018 and 2022 from a question first posted online in July 2012.

219 comments

  1. Karan

    I found out that I’m positive last month. I’ve not told anyone other than a friend. When will I test HIV non-reactive?

  2. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Heriberto,

    The only people who can transmit HIV are people who have HIV. Therefore, no your wife won’t be able to give someone HIV because she doesn’t have it.

  3. Heriberto

    I have a question if I’m HIV positive for 8 years and my wife and I have been having unprotected sex all those years and she is negative and she decides to have an affair can she give the hiv virus to that person?

  4. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Rohan,

    Please see Q1 here:

    https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions

    If he’s on meds and has an undetectable viral load the risk of contracting HIV is close to zero.

  5. Rohan

    Last Sunday I had an unprotectedoral sex with an hiv positive guy .I am scared whether I may b affected or not kindly help plz
    During sex we had a deep long smooch,I cum in his mouth that’s . N I don’t hav any mouth disease n all what I read in above faqs

  6. Lisa Thorley
  7. bongnani

    Hi doc I’d like to know something’s I had unprotected sex with someone who’s HIV on the 21th of October 2016 went to doctor which tested me with a rapid/ELISER test which came back negative after that I had a deep kiss with the same person now I have oral thrust and started having night sweats recently went back to test does this mean I might be positive and sometimes have weird headaches. Pls help me doc to normal sleeps cos I’m always anxious now.

  8. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Bongnani,

    Seroconversion signs are discussed here:

    https://i-base.info/qa/284

  9. bongnani

    Is having a sold a symptom of HIV?

  10. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Albert,

    If you are worried that you may have contracted HIV its important that you test. A diagnoses cannot be given without a test. Please also see Q1 here:

    https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions