Question
Why did my partner test positive when I tested negative?
19 April 2022. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I have been together for six years. He tested positive three years ago.
Automatically assuming I would be infected already we continued to have unsafe sex. I never went for a test until three years later in 2012.
He was beginning his treatment and wanted me to do the same, but when I went to my local clinic I tested HIV negative.
Can I trust these results or should I worry about testing HIV positive in near future? I’m so confused!
Answer
The risk of catching HIV is low compared to many other infections.
So your situation is common to still be negative even if without condoms with someone who is HIV positive. Your negative result is also related to good luck – so it is not good to rely on this in the future.
As your partner has just started treatment, the risk of transmission will already be much lower. Then, once his viral load becomes undetectable the risk is effectively zero.
The PARTNER studies showed that ART stops sexual transmission. For example, after more than 100,000 times that an HIV positive person had sex without a condom with an HIV negative partner, there were ZERO transmissions. Viral load just needs to be undetectable on ART.
This and other studies led to the U=U campaign (undetectable = untransmittable).
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
This guide to HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission includes more info on transmission risk. Also, the answer to Question 9 on our most asked questions page:
Can we stop using condoms if viral load is undetectable on treatment?
If your partner is not on treatment or if he still has detectable viral load, then using condoms will make sure you stay negative. Another option is to talk to your doctor about PtRP, which is where you can take a pill that will protect you against HIV. The UK guide to PrEP has more info.
Note: This answer was updated in 2016, 2018 and 2022 from a question first posted online in July 2012.
I am a male had a protected encounter with sex worker , i used a condom to my knowledge it didnt break. i did have cracks on my lips. the encounter lasted 5mins or may be less in which i had protected oral and protected vaginal intercourse with the sexworker it involved kissing but not very deep mouth.
exactly 19 days after that incident i had mouth ulcers in my mouth numbering 10-13 they are like small pinhead size. gave a burning sesation for 2-3 days and still last i.e. now 5 weeks after they appeared.
25th day after encounter i had cold sneezing, developed into fever 27th day high fever with sweating , night sweats, sore throat , runny nose, blocked nose, dryness in skin, cough very less sometimes with yellow greenish sputum dehydration these lasted for 4-5 days.
28th day i started with diarrhea watery smelly gas abdominal craps loss of taste in tongue
i remained fatigued sleepy and tired during this duration. this diarrhea went away after i went to doctor and he gave me lactobacillus and it went away.
i did notice some small red dots on skin , total 7-8 on entire body but they still exist i.e. 8 weeks after the encounter. but i am not sure about them when they appeared but i have to hunt for them. they are not cluster in a group so didnt notice them earlier.
after one month from the encounter , nearly when my fever ended my doctor saw me and gave a CBC test, it came back normal, wbc, lymphocyte everything came normal.
my worries.
1. what are these ulcers , very small pin head kind, white kind of dots, lasting for more than 5 weeks, how long do hiv seroconvertion mouth ulcers last and how do they look. these are inside my lower lip. my doctor said they are apthous minor he gave me a gel and vitamin but they didnt go away. also there was a week gap between ulcers and fever does that happen with hiv seroconversion.
2. does my normal cbc count suggest anything related to hiv this was done nearly 33 days after that encounter at the end of fever.
3. could these random red dots here and there be a hiv rash.
4. right now i dont have facility for hiv testing that is why i am writing to you. please reply at the earliest i will be grateful. i have read all the things but still cant stop worrying.
Hi Joseph,
If your wife is on treatment, which I assume she is because you’ve had 3 healthy children, the risk of transmission is close to zero. For more info please see the results of the PARTNER study.
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/
It is her being on treatment that is protecting you from contracting HIV.
Me joseph im experience the same problem my wife and I we been together for 12 year she living wth hiv and having sex without condom and bless with 3 health children. But every after 3month im get tested it shows nagetive
Hi Emma,
Please see Q1 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
A year ago I had unprotected sex and I have been tested negative. Can I trust this result?
Hi Zanele,
Just because your boyfriend is positive doesn’t mean that you will be. For more info please see question 5 and 1 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I had an unprotected sex with my boy friend which took about 2 minutes or so then we used condom and after few days we tested and he tested positive and I was negative…and now I can’t sleep knowing that I’m also affected. What should I do?
Hi Thapelo,
This service is for people who are HIV positive. If you are having problems coming to terms with your girlfriends status please talk to someone about this.
If you’re worried about contracting HIV, if your girlfriend is on meds then the risk is close to zero. Please see here for more info:
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/
My girlfriend is HIV positive and I am negative. It is not easy for us to always use condom 24hr and 7 days a week.
I am really suffering emotional..is this the kind of life I will leave for the rest of my life . To always look over the sholder.
I really wish I can find that peace and feel safe and excited to go to my Bed instead of worrying.
I wonder for how long will I keep non trusting God.
Hi Vee,
i-base don’t answer questions about testing. However, we do have a lot of information on our site. Please see question 1 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions