Q and A

Question

How do I tell my partner that I’m HIV positive?

I have a big problem and I need your help, I’m dating a guy who works in the government as a clinic office,but my problem is am HIV positive .I was born with it and I don’t know what to do. I’m scared to tell him about it because have slept with him already,and it scares me a lot to tell him cos the guy seems he loves me and I love him too,plz I need your advice,what should I do? Yours faithful

Answer

Thanks for getting in touch.

I appreciate that is can be hard to tell someone that you love about your HIV. More so if you are involved in a sexual relationship with that person.

There’s never an easy way to tell people. But if you see the relationship going forward you may need to tell him. As he works in a clinic he may have a good understanding about HIV.

Have you tried introducing the topic? If you are on treatment and have an undetectable viral load, then the risk of transmission are close to zero. As the recent PARTNER study illustrates:
https://i-base.info/htb/30108

This is perhaps something that you could introduce to him.

72 comments

  1. Roy Trevelion

    Hi Siwe,

    It might be a good idea to talk to him about how his HIV treatment (ART) is going. Modern ART is safe and effective. And it’s great to know that if your viral load is undetectable on ART, you can’t transmit HIV even if you don’t use condoms.

    Here’s a link to more info about Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U)>

  2. Siwe

    Hi I recently found that my partner is on HIV treatment and he has not told me anything about his HIV status .I want to ask him about it because we’ve slept a few times without using a condom. How do Ask him?

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