Question
How should I accept the fact that I am HIV positive and manage it?
18 July 2007. Related: All topics, Living with HIV long-term, Side effects.
Currently I am on treatment and doing fine.
Everyday my mind keep telling me I am a HIV positive so automatically. I try not to think about it but can not help it and keep hearing it everyday.
This disturbance cause me very stressful and I am having trouble living a ‘normal’ life.
How should I manager it?
Thank you very much.
Answer
Thanks for your question.
It is a difficult one, because there isn’t one easy answer.
Usually, with time, things get easier.
If you were newly diagnosed, or only started treatment recently, this does take a while. Focusing on the fact that with an undetectable viral load you have stopped HIV developing or from damaging your immune system may help.
Or that taking pills only takes a few minutes each day (leaving you free for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes a day to do other things).
If you currently have side effects, talk to your doctor about adapting your treatment so these are easier is important.
Your overall quality of life needs to be good – but the routine bit definitely takes a while to get used to.
After a while though, most people say that it gets easier and they reach a point where, apart from adherence, they don’t think so much about it.
If this is causing you a lot of difficulty then perhaps ask about whether counselling support is available, in case the worry is related to unresolved issues of your original HIV diagnosis.
Am 22yrs I was diagnosed hiv positive about a week ago. I don’t know how long I have been positive but on the same day that I was diagnosed I even started the treatment . I can’t stop worrying thinking my future is over and I have even lost the smile on my face and my BP is high now . How can I overcome the and accept reality
Hi Nombuso,
Being diagnosed with HIV can be very difficult. What’s important is that you give yourself some time. Breath and slow down. Yes, it may seem like its all too much. You will however be OK. This is because HIV is now a very manageable health condition. The treatment that is available is excellent.
Its the treatment that helps people with HIV live normal lives. Being able to talk about your HIV may also help. You’re also not alone.
You might find the info here helpful:
http://i-base.info/hiv-positive/
My boyfriend hid his status from me, now I’m infected. I cry all of the time, I don’t know what to do. How can I live my life to the fullest?
Hi Lelo,
The first thing you need to do is slow down. Slow down and breath. If you are positive, you’ll be OK. This is because things are different now. HIV is a very manageable health condition and the treatment is great. The treatment is so good that you’re life expectancy won’t have changed.
What you do need to do though, is have your test confirmed. Yes, this may be scary, but its important that you have it done. Only then will you know for sure. And if you are positive then you can then deiced what to do. And get the support that you’ll need.
If you are positive, you’ll need to start meds. Not only will the meds help your health, they’ll also reduce the risk of transmission to your baby. This is very important.
If you positive, you can still have a family and a career, many positive people do.
With regards to losing weight, yes this used to happen. Now however, it isn’t very common. And people who may get sick usually have a very low CD4 count.
Once you’ve had your test confirmed, if its positive please get back in touch. We’ll be able to help you. And advice on how you can tell your family.
I have just been diagnosed with HIV.I went to a public clinic to test for a pregnancy so the health care worker decided to take my HIV test with no counselling. It came back positive…She referred me to the clinic… The first test is haunting me and I’m afraid to take my second Test.. I’m thinking about a lot, my life, my son, my partner my career and my family. How am I going to disclose my status.. Am I going to die soon? I need help as I am a student, I can’t cope…. I’m even thinking that I’m going to lose weight and get sick. I sometimes don’t eat.
Hi – your comment sks about two different things.
The first is about your own treatment. If your CD4 count is currently above 500 then there is no urgency for starting treatment. However, the START study last year was able to show that here are still benefits if an dwhen you decide to do this. Most guidelines now recommend treatment at higher CD4 count but in a few countires ART is not available until the CD4 count drops belwo 500.
Your second question is about supporting other people in your family or household who are HIV positive. This will be a persoanl decision, but you have a chance to be a very positive example in being able to talk from your own experience. It is such a shame when people have to keep their HIV status secret – especially from those they care about. A shared HIV status should be even more or a reason to open up a little about this. I hope you feel able to do this and that things turn out well.
hey i have been affected with hiv for a while now about 5 years now and i knew but i did check my cd4 count it was still in good. but i need to know if its 600 above should i start taking arvs. i recently found out that i am not the only one at home with HIV. How do i support them through this and stop having the fear of dying and live a normal life?
Having been recently diagnosed (Dec ’07) one great piece of advice
There’s a very good saying I once read in Positive Nation – “Everyday you live with HIV, you’re a success”. I think it’s always a good idea to place a positive spin on positivity.
When I was first diagnosed with HIV in 1994 I would think about my illness, life expectancy etc every minute and hour. Now, it hardly crosses my mind and I can go for days on end without even thinking I’m HIV-positive. I now consider myself to be clean and healthy as opposed to my point of diagnosis when I thought of myself as dirty and diseased.
For me, keeping my mind positive has done me a world of good, and I hope you’ll do the same. It’s not easy but it will get better if you make efforts to keep yourself occupied and your mind strong.
All the best.
Mark, Manchester.
I was discussing this with my ex, and we both came to an important realisation that, even though we were well and treatment was easy, we considered ourselves not as valid as HIV-negative people are.
Bam! suddenly in a flash the feeling vanished. So how long, I cannot say, for my ex, 16 years, for me 6 or 7
In truth, the hardest thing now is to damn well remember and take my meds on time. My partner, negative, has also been a relevation, mainly by saying “I don’t know what all the fuss is about” but he’s a diamond, and tis true the doubts do nag.
Good luck
– matt