Question
How should I accept the fact that I am HIV positive and manage it?
18 July 2007. Related: All topics, Living with HIV long-term, Side effects.
Currently I am on treatment and doing fine.
Everyday my mind keep telling me I am a HIV positive so automatically. I try not to think about it but can not help it and keep hearing it everyday.
This disturbance cause me very stressful and I am having trouble living a ‘normal’ life.
How should I manager it?
Thank you very much.
Answer
Thanks for your question.
It is a difficult one, because there isn’t one easy answer.
Usually, with time, things get easier.
If you were newly diagnosed, or only started treatment recently, this does take a while. Focusing on the fact that with an undetectable viral load you have stopped HIV developing or from damaging your immune system may help.
Or that taking pills only takes a few minutes each day (leaving you free for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes a day to do other things).
If you currently have side effects, talk to your doctor about adapting your treatment so these are easier is important.
Your overall quality of life needs to be good – but the routine bit definitely takes a while to get used to.
After a while though, most people say that it gets easier and they reach a point where, apart from adherence, they don’t think so much about it.
If this is causing you a lot of difficulty then perhaps ask about whether counselling support is available, in case the worry is related to unresolved issues of your original HIV diagnosis.
HI found out I was pregnant,taking meds is fine n everything, but problem comes when I have to go to clinic n my baby is 6months am worried about him.
Hi Anonymous,
Are you on medication? If you are what is it that you’re taking? I’m asking as its possible that your meds could be causing you to feel this way. It does however soundslike you might need some professional support. Though i-base can help give you information we aren’t a support service.
im trying my best to get better and to accept my situation . i tried exercising, talking to my family, laughing but the more i try is like im taking a few steps back. im experiencing shortness of breath, feeling light headed and want to cry a lot and im always tired. please help me i dont know how long i have to deal with this. what must i do?
Hi Miller, although things seem very difficult now, I promise that most people find they get steadily easier. You have time to work through things, including how and when to use treatment (called ART). Modern HIV meds mean you can live a long and normal life. Some people even look back and see that finding out they were HIV positive led their life in a new direction that turned out to be different and positive. finding out about HIV is a good way to feeli in control of your health and body and your new choices.
Hello good people i found out that im posative a few days ago,im finding it hard to accept that. i havn’t started treatment yet. Please help if you can
Hi Adrian,
Firstly what you need to do is slow down. Give yourself some time to breath. You’re going to be OK.
Its common to feel like this when you’ve just been diagnosed. You aren’t alone in this. What might help is talking to someone about your status. This could be a close friend, your doctor, or if possible to someone else who is positive. This can usually be done at a local HIV support group, or even online. The following links may also help:
http://i-base.info/qa/11906
http://i-base.info/just-found-out/
Even if you might be feeling worthless at the moment, you have your whole life ahead of you. HIV unlike in the past is now a very manageable health condition. So much so that once someone is on medication and their viral load becomes undetectable the risk of transmission is close to zero, if not zero. Also, when on meds a person who is positive can expect to have similar life expectancy to someone who is negative. This is all really important stuff to know when trying to come to terms with your status.
Being on meds is really important, more so if your CD4 is low. If you’re thinking about starting meds, please see here:
http://i-base.info/guides/starting
If you need anything else, please email us. We may even be able to find you a support group.
hi i found out recently that i am hiv postive and most times i think of ending my life because i feel worthless and what makes it worse i havent told anyone yet and to be honest i havent started taking medication please help me do the right thing i hate myself so much
Hi Felicia,
Are you saying that you are positive and that you are finding it hard to come to terms with your status? If you are, you aren’t alone. Its common for people to feel like this. What might help is being able to talk to others who are positive. Or to a close friend.
Its important to understand that HIV is now a very manageable health condition and one that is easy to control. With ARVs you have the power to control your HIV and to live a near to normal life expectancy. With ARVs you also can’t transmit the virus. This is important to know when explaining to people about your status.
If you need anything specific, please email us.
I can’t deal with it. I don’t feel like my self. I have a 5 year old. How to explain that one. I lost my boyfriend to all bad family. Who’s going to support me?
Hi RX95,
It’s common to feel like this when you’ve just been diagnosed. The first thing you need to do is slow down. Give yourself some time to breath. You’re going to be OK. Is there someone who you can talk to? Or a place where you can get some support? Because your diagnoses is new, this may help:
http://i-base.info/hiv-positive/
As too could our starting treatment guide:
http://i-base.info/guides/starting
Yes, at the moment it may be hard. It will though get easier. And you being on meds is you taking control of your HIV. This is important. Its also important to know that things have changed, people on meds can now expect to have a similar life expectancy to those who are negative. This is because medication really is that good. People who are positive can also still have relationships and families. You can have a future.