Q and A

Question

Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?

My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?

How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?

Answer

Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?

Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).

The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.

Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.

A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.

While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.

Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.

Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.

For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.

This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.

184 comments

  1. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Tammy,

    Please see Q 5 here:

    https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions

    Also, if your boyfriend is on medication and has an undetectable viral load, the risk of transmission is close to zero. Please see the results of the PARTNER study for more info:

    https://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/

  2. Tammy

    I’ve been with my biyfriend 3 years on and off. Recently in July 2016 my boyfriend told me his status. He’s HIV positive! He’s had the virus since 2006. We’ve had lot’s of unprotected sex because I wasn’t aware. Since he’s shared his ststus with me, we’ve been using condoms. When I asked him why didnt he inform me when we first met, he said he was afraid of losing me. I’ve been tested ample times and my results always come back. HIV NEGITIVE! How is this possible?

  3. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Sega,

    Your question is answered in the above post.

  4. sega

    My boyfriends tested positive, but me negative. I’ve had a lot of tests and they’ve all been negative, can I trust the result?

  5. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Mkatekom

    If you haven’t had sex with another men, nor injected drug, or had a blood transfusion or come into contact with blood that could have contained HIV, or if you weren’t born with HIV, you should take another test. If this comes back as positive, then I don’t know how you became infected.

  6. mkateko

    Hi, I’ve tested positive, while my husband’s negative. We have a one year daughter who is negative. I breastfeed from birth. I haven’t slept with another man. Please, why am I positive?

  7. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Tony,
    I’m sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time.

    I think that before you panic and start thinking that your world is over, you need to have your test confirmed. And as soon as possible.

    If it comes back as positive, then as your wife is pregnant she’ll need to test. I know that this may not be what you want to hear, but if she’s positive and doesn’t know she risks transmitting HIV to the baby.

    One thing that you need to know though,is that it can happen that one person is positive and another is negative.

    When you get your next results, please contact us. We will be able to help you.

  8. Tony

    I was reading the comments and wanted to tell you what I’m going thru right now… I gave plasma and they told me I was HIV positive… I been with my wife now for 13 years we have a 5 year old and she is currently 5 months… She use to give plasma all the time and I’m pretty sure they tested her when she found out she was pregnant… I’m so scared… I haven’t said anything to anyone yet… I have been so depressed since I found out to the point I can’t eat sleep or even think clear because of the burden… I am going to get tested again real real soon in hopes it is a false positive… If not my life is completely over my beautiful family destroyed… I have had made bad sex decision and put myself at high risk… As much as I want the test to be negative I feel it is positive… But I rather my life than my wife and unborn child… I AM SO TORN

  9. Simon Collins

    Hi Zama, either your boyfriend results are wrong or you caught HIV in a different way. I can’t comment really on these, but many HIV positive people never find out how they caught HIV. It is better to try to look forward to come to terms with hwo you are going to deal with this news.

    It is clear you are have a very difficult time and it would help to talk to other people about this. Can you see a speak to a health advisor of counsellor? Or to other HIV positive people who have been through similar experiences?

  10. Zama

    Ay I’m still very confused good people !

    How possible is it that I get to be HIV positive and my b.f is HIV negetive while I have only slept with him. He was the one I gave my virginity to and before I was depressed becouse of work related issues and I had to go to the hospital where blood tests were done to find out what was wrong with me and I tested negetive. After the tests were done my Dr found out that I was suffering from depression. before I got admitted in a psychiatric hospital they tested me for HIV again and I was negetive. Few weeks after I was discharged I gave my virginity to my b.f and I got pregnants few months down the line. They was rumours that my boyfreind is HIV positive and I got tested and found out that I am HIV positive and he tested from a laboratry and still his results are negetive. HOW POSSIBLE IS THIS. PLEASE HELP ME I’M VERY FRUSTRATED. STRESSED AND CONFUSED..