Q and A

Question

Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?

My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?

How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?

Answer

Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?

Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).

The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.

Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.

A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.

While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.

Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.

Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.

For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.

This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.

184 comments

  1. Simon Collins

    Hi Portia, I don;t know about your circumstances but you might have caught HIV many years ago without realising it. You have been lucky to respond well to treatment and that the rest of your family is negative. It is better to move forward than to look back too much.

  2. portia

    Hey
    I think HIV has a way of hiding it sometimes coz I’ve been dating my Bf for 2years we have a 9months old baby girl l found out while I was 2mnths preg that l have HIV and I started my treatment same lucky my baby girl is negative and her father and I don’t understand coz ever since we meet we never used protection I am still on treatment will the poor guy is so spptv to me and he doesn’t understAnd can explain to use how came this is possible

  3. Simon Collins

    This risk is very low based on the PARTNER study which is detailed here:
    http://i-base.info/guides/testing/how-can-my-partner-test-positive-and-i-test-negative

  4. Morning Star

    Hi

    Is it possible to infect a partner if your HIV is undetected by blood test??

  5. Simon Collins

    Hi Nasir

    Answers to questions on transmission and testing are already online at the FAQ page.
    http://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing

    or in this guide:
    http://i-base.info/guides/testing

    If your partner is on treatment the risk is close to zero.
    http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study

    If she is not on treatment then you have just been lucky up until now.

  6. nasir

    i don’t understand pls i need more advise. i have a girlfriend who we have dating for about four months now, said she is HIV positive. we have had sex plenty of times without condom but i just got test to my surprise i am HIV negative. am totally confused. she even told me, that all the men that have had sex with her are all HIV negative. is it possible?

  7. Simon Collins

    It is very common – see the answer above and many other questions on this – it is just luck.

  8. Victoria

    I really don’t understand bcz we have six years with my partner bt he also tested negetive but m positive

  9. Simon Collins

    HIV is very real – the risk of transmission is just low and some people are lucky. Oher people are unlucky and can become HIV positivie after having sex one time.

  10. leeh

    I don’t understand but all m saying this HIV thing is not real coz if m positive n m staying with a men for 2year or more having sex without condom but he’s negative