Q and A

Question

Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?

My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?

How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?

Answer

Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?

Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).

The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.

Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.

A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.

While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.

Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.

Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.

For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.

This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.

184 comments

  1. Ifeanyi

    I have sex to night with female HIV positive person since last month.i don’t risk of catching HIV.

  2. Simon Collins

    I am sorry but this service doesn’t answer individual questions about testing and transmission. This is because the answers are already online at the FAQ page:
    http://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing

    or in this guide:
    http://i-base.info/guides/testing

  3. Simon Collins

    I am sorry but this service doesn’t answer individual questions about testing and transmission. This is because the answers are already online at the FAQ page:
    http://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing

    or in this guide:
    http://i-base.info/guides/testing

  4. Nick

    Hi ,
    This is Nick.
    I am gay, bottom. I recently have had one night hookup with some stranger guy on grindr. He was 27 yrs older and I’m 20. Due to the heat of the moment that night, we got carried away and had unprotected sex and he cum inside me. Then again, i had sex with him twice, one day after the other..2nd time was like without condom but he cum outside me..and 3rd time protected sex. I am so much worried abt this hiv thing…i asked him later, he told me that he does not have hiv- as he had done tests 6 months back..I’m still not sure. I can’t trust him. Today, I came to know that pep is used to prevent hiv after exposure but if its used within 72 hours. But I guess Its too late, cause we had first sex on 3rd July and its 12th July now..Is there any other way to prevent hiv like pep if u’re unsure about ur partner status ??? Pls..reply..I’m really worried.

  5. Simon Collins

    Hi Chirro

    I can’t comment on this situation. If you are positive, this is the main thing to focus on. Perhaps you caught HIV in another way at another time. Your positive results needs to be confirmed. If you are postivie and have questions about this or treatment I can go over other infomration.

  6. Chirro

    I dated this gal last year and b4 i meet her she ws staying with the other guy hes hiv positive but this gal she ws not aware until the symptoms starting to show up the guy he went to clinic nd test positive but this gal she test negative nd they have been together for period of two years with this guy whn she came to me she was cheating to that guy until she fought with her partner nd she moved in with me last year October nd earlier this January this year the symptoms starting to show up on me until we went to a local clinic wth this gal i test positive nd she test negative whts amazing here is how can i be effectd bcos the gal even now she’s still testing negative after she hv been in a two years relationship with someone negative but during this two years she’s ws not aware dat this guy hes positive and she says they were practice unprotected sex and now she s staying with me nd now i found out that im positive and this gal is the only gal i had sex wth without protection it came as strange on me i don’t understand how cos she’s still testing negative

  7. Simon Collins

    Hi Dipuo

    I dont understand your question. So far you have been lucky becasue HIV is difficult to catch – although once can be enough.

    If your wife is on treatment then transmission risk is close to zero.

  8. Dipuo

    my wife is hiv positive but i’m negative and we always having sex without condom and i’m not affected by that,i now five years . i’m still negative,please help me

  9. Roy Trevelion

    You can reduce the risk to your husband if you’re on HIV treatment (ART) and your viral load test is undetectable. This means you are less infectious. But using condoms will protect him from this risk.

  10. Buthelezi

    Hi, I’m HIV positive but my husband is negative and he don’t appreciate or want to use a condom, what must I do?