Question
Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?
29 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?
How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?
Answer
Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?
Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).
The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.
Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.
A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.
While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.
Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.
Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.
For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.
This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.
Hello, The risk of catching HIV depends on many things. If you don’t use a condom then it can be just down to luck. But it will also depend on your partner’s viral load. If HIV is undetectable in his blood tests, then he’ll be less infectious than if he wasn’t on effective treatment.
Using condoms will protect against HIV. But if a condom breaks then, yes you might get infected that way.
Hello my partner is positive and I’m negative, and we didn’t use condoms sometimes. I’m scared but know I might be positive also. My question is what if a condom breaks and leaks his sperm, might I get infected that way?
As with the answer above, HIV transmission doesn’t always occur.
Hi i sleep with the man who was hiv positive and when i go to the clinic the my result is hiv negative
Hi Winnie,
I’m sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s diagnosis. We have an FAQs page for couples in this situation. Have a look there and then let me know if you have any questions or would like any further information. It might help you both to get some support- the HIV clinic should be able to put you in touch with a local peer support group.
Hi my is winnie my boyfriend got tested last months and he is positive .and i am negative and never used condoms 4 the past three year i am so stressed.plz help
If you are HIV negative, and your partner if HIV positive please see our FAQs on this topic.
If someone’s partner has traces of HIV in their blood should the the other be concerned?
Hi
disclosing a status its very difficult but honestly speaking in any way or the othr you have to be hones.
I’am hiv – and my partner is hiv + we have a three months old baby
his hiv – too. My partner got tested when i was already about to deliver
but lied about his medz that are fot low blood mmm curiousity i goggled them
in shock i was stressed as if i was the one who had the virus
but at the end i made him to tell me so i could be his care taker.
Now we happy and i’am soo stress free even though sometimes i get scared
Hi Owame. If you want to use condoms when you have sex your boyfriend should respect this- this is a decision that you should make together and you should not be pressured into having sex without condoms if you don’t want to. Having an undetectable viral load means that the risk of transmission is very low for vaginal sex- close to zero. But if you have any sexually transmitted infections this can increase the chance of passing HIV to your boyfriend. It is important that you are both treated for any infections before having sex without condoms. Having a miscarriage shouldn’t cause your viral load to increase.