Question
My husband just tested HIV positive but I tested HIV negative?
6 March 2008. Related: All topics, HIV testing, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed.
We just found out my husband has HIV today I tested negative and I don’t understand why. Can you please explain.
Also what is lipodystropy?
Answer
I am sorry to hear about your husbands test results, but you are lucky in still being HIV negative.
We have had many questions from people in your situation and it is not uncommon. Although you are HIV-negative now, it doesn’t mean you are protected against HIV in the future, so it is important to use condoms now with your husband.
So far you have just been lucky – not every exposure results in infection – but you are still at risk catching HIV.
For more information about your husbands health and treatment see this guide.
Lipodystrophy is the term for a range of side effect to some HIV drugs, that changes the way your body processes fats and sugars. More information is at this link.
Hello,
First of all breathe. Give yourself a moment to digest this. Finding out you or your partner are HIV positive is a very emotional thing and it will take time to adjust. You need to avoid questions like how, when, why us and focus on questions like how do we move on from this, how do we learn to live with HIV positively so that it does not affect the quality of our lives or our children’s lives. With the availability of modern medicine, people with HIV have a near normal life expectancy and a good quality of life. There is no reason why you and your husband won’t grow old together or watch your grandchildren grow.
It sounds as if you need some support. Have you looked into positive support groups in your area where you can meet people in the same situation as yourself in a confidential environment so you can share experiences? If you let me know where you are living I can find some for you. Many positive people and their loved ones find this to be very helpful in learning how to live with the virus.
If you are in the Uk and want to speak to people who have been through the same thing as yourself then please contact us on the treatment information phoneline (Mon-Wed 12-4pm) at 0808 800 6013.
My husband of 8 years tested HIV positive yesterday. I have 3 young children and with every pregnancy I tested negative to hIV. It’s been over 3 years since my last test and I am terrified to go get tested. I am still coming to terms with my husband’s diagnosis. I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat, I can’t even look my children in their eyes because I lose it. He seems to be handling it better than me. I want to be strong for him and I feel guilty about the way I am acting. We haven’t told anyone and I think he wants to keep it that way for a while. I feel really selfish and I can’t help it. I want to know when, how, why us? He’s been my best friend since I was a child. We were supposed to grow old together, watch our grandchildren grow. I’m just so sad. Devastated. Heartbroken. Scared…………..
I tested positive and i am on drugs now with undetectable viral load but my husband of ten years tested negative and he is the one who has had multiple unsafe sexual relationships. What going on here?
Hi,
If you are using a condom then you will not catch HIV from your husband. If your husband is stable on HIV medications with an undetectable viral load then it is very unlikely he can infect anyone. There is no need to worry or to stop having sex often. Keep using condoms and you will remain negative.
Hi. I’m in the same situation. My husband tested HIV positive in 2004 and I am negative until now but I’m scrared one day the result could be positive. I am still using a condom and we don’t sleep together often like other married couples. I sometimes think that my cells are strong I need an explanation.
I am in the same situation. It’s weirdly common. I am worried about my health but reading about how these situations are the same as my own makes me feel hopeful that I am ok.
Hi Becky,
Hope your 3 months test is still negative. Good luck!
Hi Becky
The best advice is probably to try and contact HIV-support organisations where you live. The clinic where you tested should also be able to help with information that helps you.
While this news is very difficult, there is a high chance you are still negative, and that your baby will also therefore be negative,
Although you will have to use condoms to prevent risks in the future, if your husband has access to treatment when he needs it, this works for over 90% of people who consistently take their combination as it is prescribed.
I am in the same situation like you guys. My husband of 6 years just tested positive last week while I am still negative. I’m scared to death. I don’t know what to do? I will retest again in 3 months. I just had a 2 months old baby……. Where do I go from here? Please help…..
Sorry, to hear about this. I am in the very same situation like you. All you have to do now is to give your husband full support more than ever (no need to ask questions, you know what i mean, beng harsh will not help)
Please try to convince yourself that you are negative and you are not positive. I know right now you are not sure because for you it will take time to understand that you are not positive and you will ask many, many questions like why, when we were having unprotected sex, and why him not both of us.
They say you can have sex with your positive husband for 100 times and at 101 be unlucky. So that is what happened to both of us. Give him your full support, attend those support groups with him, cook for him healthy food and look after him for your children and your sake. Our husbands will still live normal lives and have many more years to come, if we can support them to take their medication right.