Question
I am pregnant and HIV positive: how do I tell my partner>
25 February 2011. Related: All topics, Disclosure, Newly diagnosed, Pregnancy, Sero different couples, Starting treatment, Support.
Hi
I’m 27 years old and 16 weeks pregnant. I recently found out I am HIV+ and my CD4 is 400 Viral Load just over 41,000. I feel so confused and lonely as I have not told my partner. Because of pregnancy i know i should start treatment immediately. My question is how do I tell my partner because he has a problem of low self esteem and sometimes he thinks the best solution is death. He is very suicidal. I have suggested therapy but he is sturbon too.
Answer
Thank you for your question.
It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time at the moment. Coming to terms with a new diagnosis is difficult enough but finding out when you are pregnant can be even harder. It must also be difficult coping with this without the support of your partner.
To start with the health of you and your baby must come first. If you are 16 weeks pregnant then you do need to start treatment as soon as possible. For more information about treatment during pregnancy please follow this link.
The decision about when and how to tell your partner is a difficult one and one that only you can make. Disclosing your status is never easy but it is yourdecision. You need to think about what would be best for you as well as him.
If telling him now will cause you additional stress which could affect the pregnancy then that isn’t a good option. On the other hand if you need your partner’s support and cannot cope with finding out you are positive and being pregnant then your might think it is better to tell him.
At some point your partner may also need to test for HIV for his own health. For more information and tips on how to disclose please follow this link.
Best wishes with the pregnancy and telling your partner. Please feel free to contact us again if you need further support.
Comment