Question
How can my partner test HIV positive and I test HIV negative?
16 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV testing, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed, Sero different couples.
I went to test HIV with my partner.
I found out that she is positive and I was negative. After six months i went back I tested negative.
Please help as I don’t understand.
Answer
Thanks for your question as your situation is very common.
Has your partner’s positive HIV test been checked by a second test in a lab. All rapid tests, need a positive result to be confirmed. This is because of the small chance of a false-positive result.
If the second test (called “western blot”) is positive then your partner is definitely positive. In this case, how is your partner doing and does she have support?
Even if your partner is HIV positive, it is common for one person in a couple to test positive and the other negative. This can happen even if they have bot been using condoms. This is mostly just luck. Over time, most people will catch HIV if they continue to have sex without a condom.
Even though you have not caught HIV so far, you can still catch HIV in the future. Genetics may explain some cases of protection, but most are just down to luck and chance.
Now you know your partners HIV status, you can still stay together and have sex safely. Condoms or PrEP are both really effective at stopping HIV and not sharing needles.
Also, after your partner gets an undetectable viral load on treatment, the risk drops to zero – even without condoms. The PARTNER study reported no transmission with an undetectable viral load. this was after about 900 couple had sex 58,000 without condoms (over several years).
Note: This answer was updated in January 2018 and October 2014 from a question from June 2011. i-Base no longer answers individual questions about HIV transmission and risk. (See: Question 1, 5, 6 and 9 at this link).
Hi,
It is common for one partner in a relationship to be positive and the other to be negative. It is great to hear that your kids are negative. You can have a look at the answer to the question above for a more detailed answer to a similar question.
Hi!
I have been with my husband for 10yrs now and I tested hiv positive 4 yrs ago while pregnant with my 3rd born suprisingly he tested negative and this has caused so much tention and confusion in my marriage pls help? All my kids are negative though……
Hi,
It is important that you use condoms to prevent transmission. This is especially important while you are pregnant. This is because being pregnant increases your risk for HIV transmission. If you do not become positive your baby won’t either.
You can use this information to explain to him why it is important that you use condoms.
We are a married couple and I am pregnant. My husband is HIV positive and I am not. My worry is he is still not wanting to use condoms.
Hi,
It is great that you are thinking about having a baby. Many couples with one positive and one negative partner safely have HIV negative children. If the positive partners viral load is undetectable this is usually through having sex without a condom.
You can find information about conceiving and HIV here:
http://i-base.info/guides/pregnancy/conception
My fiancee has been on treatment for twelve years now. We use protection but is it safe for us to have unprotected sex? We want to have a baby.
Hi,
I’m really sorry to hear about your fiancee. It is common for one partner in a couple to be HIV positive and the other to not be. This is the case even if a condom has not been used. HIV is not transmitted every time you have sex with someone who is HIV positive. The fact that you are not positive is down to a mixture of luck and possibly genetic factors.
You can take your test results as conclusive. You do not have HIV.
Hi
I’m 36 yrs and my fiance passed away last year in September and we’ve been having unprotected sex for 4yrs and he died a month after disclosing to me. I went for hiv test and they came back negative and I went in august,december and feb and they still came back negative…
Can it be possible that I’m not infected?
Confused
Hi,
Your girlfriend’s test shows that she has HIV. A CD4 count of over 900 is strong and shows that your girlfriend’s immune system is working well still.
The fact that she has HIV does not necessarily mean that you have it. It is common for one partner in a couple to be positive and the other negative. This can be down to both luck and genetic factors.
Over time most people if they continue to have unprotected sex with someone who is positive will also become positive. The chance of this happening goes down significantly when the positive person is on treatment.
You can find more information about HIV status and couples here:
http://i-base.info/guides/testing/risk-hiv-status
Hi
My girlfrnd went for a HIV test and she tested positive with a CD4 of above 900. We have been together for 2 years now, having unprotected sex. Does that mean I have it? And from what CD4 count do you have HIV? Please help because I’m confused.