Q and A

Question

How can my partner test HIV positive and I test HIV negative?

16 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV testing, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed, Sero different couples.

I went to test HIV with my partner.

I found out that she is positive and I was negative. After six months i went back I tested negative.

Please help as I don’t understand.

Answer

Answer: Simon Collins

Thanks for your question as your situation is very common.

Has your partner’s  positive HIV test been checked by a second test in a lab. All rapid tests, need a positive result to be confirmed. This is because of the small chance of a false-positive result.

If the second test (called “western blot”) is positive then your partner is definitely positive. In this case, how is your partner doing and does she have support?

Even if your partner is HIV positive, it is common for one person in a couple to test positive and the other negative. This can happen even if they have bot been using condoms. This is mostly just luck. Over time, most people will catch HIV if they continue to have sex without a condom.

Even though you have not caught HIV so far, you can still catch HIV in the future. Genetics may explain some cases of protection, but most are just down to luck and chance.

Now you know your partners HIV status, you can still stay together and have sex safely. Condoms or PrEP are both really effective at stopping HIV and not sharing needles.

Also, after your partner gets an undetectable viral load on treatment, the risk drops to zero – even without condoms. The PARTNER study reported no transmission with an undetectable viral load. this was after about 900 couple had sex 58,000 without condoms (over several years).

Note: This answer was updated in January 2018 and October 2014 from a question from June 2011. i-Base no longer answers individual questions about HIV transmission and risk. (See: Question 1, 5, 6 and 9 at this link).

335 comments

  1. Lisa Thorley •

    Hi Phillip,

    If the women who you’ve had sex with were on medication and had an undetectable viral load, this will be the reason why you haven’t contracted HIV. If they haven’t been on medication, then you’ve been lucky. This doesn’t mean that you are immune to HIV.

  2. Phillip •

    Hi
    I had slept with my ex girlfriend who tested HIV positive and I tested HIV negative for more than 8 months. This happened between 2009 – 2011 then I married my wife in 2015 who also tested HIV positive last year while I’m still negative. I’ve been testing for the past 10 months and I’m negative. I would like to know whether I don’t catch the HIV virus or not. Please help.
    Worried

  3. Lisa Thorley •

    Hi GT.

    Basically up until now you’ve been lucky. Now your partner knows their status you can now choose to use condoms. Once they are on meds and have an undetectable viral load the risk of transmission will be close to zero. Please see here for more info:

    http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/

  4. GT •

    My girlfriend tested Positive and I tested Negative. We had unprotected sex multiple times.
    Please help

  5. Lisa Thorley •

    Hi Yone,

    Please see Q here:

    http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions

  6. Yone •

    I was worry that if I was having HIV. I went for the testing and it was negative. I still can’t stay still. I am so worry about the future. Should I get another check for the better result. I don’t know what to do. And now i feel like I am suffering from depression.

  7. Lisa Thorley •

    Hi Des,

    You being on treatment will have reduced the risk of transmission to your ex husband to close to zero.

    Your CD4 is excellent as too is the fact that you’re undetectable. There’s no reason why this should change. You do though need to adhere to your meds.

  8. DES •

    HI,I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST TEN YRS THEN EXPERIENCE REJECTION FROM MY HUSBAND WE HAVE TWO KIDS AND THEY ARE NEGATIVE.SINCE I TESTED POSITIVE MY HUSBAND BECAME OBSESSED TESTING MONTHLY UNTIL HE FINALLY CHEATED AND RAN OFF WITH A YOUNGER GIRL THEY HAVE A BABY NOW. PLZ I NEED TO UNDERSTAND ALL THESE YEARS HE DID RAPID TEST AND TESTED NEGATIVE .WE HAD SEX MOSTLY WITH CONDOMS BUT WHEN WE WANTED KIDS WE DID NOT USED PROTECTION EVEN BEFORE HE RAN AWAY WE HAD SEX WITOUT PROTECTION. MY VIRAL LOAD IS LOW AND CD AT 700.WILL CONTINUE TO STAY NEGATIVE OR HOW DOES THIS WORK. CONCERN AND REJECTED.

  9. Lisa Thorley •

    Hi Mirriam,

    Please see the above post.

  10. Mirriam •

    How is it possible that my brother’s wife died from AIDS, but my brother is still negative?