Q and A

Question

How long will I live if I stop taking my medication?

Hi,

I decided that at the beginning of December that I would stop taking my meds for good. I’m in my late 20s and had HIV now for about 2 and a half years. I started meds not long after I found out I was infected.

I went from being negative, to positive and on meds in the space of a year. In Nov my CD4 was just under 500 and my viral load was undetectable for the 1st time. At times I stopped my meds, had to change them and wasnt great at taking them.

Unrelated to HIV my health wasn’t great last year was in a bad accident and wreaked my body. I’ve never been at ease with being on meds hence why I wasn’t great with them in the past but I’ve thought long about this and wont change my mind.

I dont want to live to be old because I wont have a good quality of life so id rather let hiv take me when im young. How long, I know you cant just say oh 1 year 2 years etc to me, but in general terms can I expect to live for?

And what kind of illnesses would I expect to get from the HIV?

I’ve had Hodgkin lymphoma in the past would that be likely to return?

Many thanks.

Answer

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through. I can appreciate it must be extremely hard for you to deal with so much at such a young age. Do you have anybody close to you who is supporting you through all this? Do any of your friends or family know about your HIV status, and have you spoken to anyone about the feelings you are grappling with?

To answer your direct question first, how long someone lives without ART will vary a lot. It might be as little as a few years or it might be much longer. If your CD4 count ever went very low, then HIV is likely to progress more quickly. If your CD4 count has always been high, then it would take longer. Maybe 5 to 8 years on average.

Letting HIV progress without ART would not be an easy or reliable way to end your life. Most to the complications of late stage HIV are very difficult and unpredictable. You can easily research this by looking at the early days before there was ART.

It sounds like you have had a lot of difficult things to deal with and HIV is only one of these. Without commenting on what you decide, the way you are writing sounds very close to someone with depression, which is an illness in itself and this is something that needs its own discussion with your doctor.

Without realising it, depression can take hold after a serious life threatening illness or traumatic event. It is common then to focus on something that seems certain and even better, like an earlier death, when time with a counsellor or advisor might help you see that other options are available, but which you just can’t see by yourself. Again, this is not a comment on the things you say, just something to think about.

Many people find it hard coping with an HIV diagnosis, let alone being diagnosed at such an early age and having to start treatment so soon after. Some people come to terms with it soon after, however, many more people take a long time. You are therefore not alone in feeling this way.

Although you were diagnosed just over 2 and a half years ago, it is still early days. It may take you some time to learn to cope with living with HIV and all that entails. With the right treatment, care and support, most people find that they begin to move on with their lives.

You mention that you don’t want to live to be old because you may not have a good quality of life. The reality is, you can live to be old and have a good quality of life, even with an HIV diagnosis.

The medication we now have available to treat HIV is very effective in enabling people to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. Some of the people I know who were diagnosed in their 20s and 30s are now becoming parents and grandparents.

You asked about how long you can expect to live. Modern HIV treatment (ART) now means that life expectancy for an HIV positive person is the same as an HIV negative person. This means you potentially have a lot of time work through the things that re difficult and to have time to enjoy life.

You mention that you were not adhering very well to your medication. Are there any particular issues that you were concerned with? Was it side effects, or was it just having to take pills? Did you speak to anyone at the hospital about finding it hard to adhere?

A good health advisor could talk about newer HIV meds that might be much easier to take.

Without knowing the details of your other complications, if you have responded well to treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma, you have already been very lucky. The chance of long term remission are similar as if you were HIV negative people. This is about 70% survival at five years, which in oncology is seen as similar to a cure rate.

Your other question was about whether the Hodgkins lymphoma is likely to return. As your CD4 count drops, as it will do when off treatment, this is likely to increase the risk that the Hodgkins could return.

Stopping treatment will mean your CD4 count and viral load are likely to quickly return to levels before you started treatment. If this has always been high, then if the break will help you for psychological reasons, the risks are relatively low. However, if your CD4 cont ever dropped below 350, and definitely if it went much lower, stopping treatment is much more risky.  The risk for Hodgkins to relapse is likely to be higher when you are not on HIV meds, compared to being  on treatment.

You said your CD4 count is about 500 and an undetectable viral load. These are a good indication that the medication was working really well. And that you are healthy.

The BHIVA (British HIV Association) guidelines recommend everyone should starting treatment even at high CD4 counts.

As you are based in the UK, you may find it useful, in the first instance, to chat with one of us over the phone. The i-Base treatment phoneline is 0808 800 6013. It is free from landlines and most UK mobile networks.

Other organisations you might find useful to contact are:

  • Positively UK – They support people living with HIV . They also have a mentoring service which you may find useful.  A mentor will be assigned to you and you can see them regularly over a period of time until you are ready to move on.
  • Body and Soul – they provide support to families living with HIV and have a service specifically for young HIV positive people like yourself.

Note: This answered was updated in April 2023, December 2021 and January 2017 from a question posted in January 2012. The answer was updated to reflect changes in treatment guidelines.

605 comments

  1. Avif

    Hi everyone
    I’m really glad to have found this comments. this is the first place I’m telling someone I’m HIV positive. I just found out my girlfriend is positive therefor I just know I am positive. I haven’t gone for the test yet but the symptoms sure did told me where I’m heading to. I’ve got fever these days a lot, swollen lymph and feels tired all the time. I’ve also lose so much weight.

    I’m just 21 and I cant speak about it to anyone. my life is in mess right now.
    on Monday I’ll go for my drugs.
    please I need your advices and encouragements
    Thank you.

  2. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Martin.

    It sounds like you need some professional help, of you’re based in the UK there are organisations that can help.

  3. Martin

    I know I have depression and it is not surprising considering I have locked my self away from society, daring not to make friends because of my HIV and Hep B. I was diagnosed in 1994 and refused meds until 10 years later. Now, I have had my fill of poor health and loneliness. Incidentally, I felt I had to cut my self off from society, including work because I always felt I could never be the real me, hiding the truth from everyone and for the fact I suffer poor health generally. Now, so many years on I have decided enough is enough of a miserable existence and I too am going to stop treatment. It has kept me alive but my quality of life is zero. I dread what my decision will do to my partner, the only person who knows. (My family disowned me). I am 50 years old now and feel more like 80. So, you can understand my feelings. My doctor has no idea but she will on my next visit. I don’t believe its a cop out or being cowardly as I believe it is cruel to continue and I want nothing more than my HIV negative partner to have a normal life and enjoy it! I actually look forward to the release, relief and peace from a torturous existence, something I have deeply contemplate for a long time now. So, my point is, for a few people, it makes sense when there is no point. Yeah, I know the depression is talking here, but it is correct in my case. I believe people should have the choice to end their life, under controlled circumstances, if they so wish. It is not wrong it is just a choice, an important one, but one only yourself can make. I have made mine..

  4. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Roseline,

    If you aren’t eating then this may be the reason why you’re feeling so weak.However, this really is something that you should talk to your doctor about.

    Its good to hear though that you have some help.

  5. Roseline

    Thanks for the respond, I have a daughter yes who does help me sometime because she is in varsity, its only HIV. I do not have appetite I believe this is the reason I am so weak because I do not consume too much food do you have anything that you can recommend? I need help maybe this might be the reason why I am unable to walk as well. Lack of strength

  6. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Roseline,

    Other then the HIV have you been diagnosed with other health problems?
    I can’t really comment on the not being able to walk and lack of strength, for me to be able to do this I’d need more info.

    Many people start ARVs with a CD4 count in the 100’s and even in single figures. In time their CD4’s rise and if their health gets better. Do you have any one who can help you out at home?

  7. Roseline

    I Started medication weeks ago my CD4 count was below 200 it was 110, I still can’t walk and I do not pick up strength, do I stand a chance to be strong and living to raise my children/ please help I am very worried.

  8. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Anny,

    If you can you should report the nurse who was rude to you. You have a right to be treated with respect and dignity. You are by no means a fool. And you’re right many medical professionals don’t understand what its like to be positive and dealing with the pressures of day-to-day life.

    Even if you’ve been treated unfair, its great to hear that you’re ready to restart meds. Being on meds with help you to control your HIV. When your in clinic did you manage to get some medication?

  9. anny

    Im HIV positive and ive stoped taking my meds and ive reliesed that its wrong i have to live for my childrens sake but when i went to the clinic they shouted at me as if im a child i felt like a fool going there they dont understand how difficult this is to me they send me to a councilling room knowing that its closed already i have to seat next to the door like a fool until they come out of the rooms saying were close ……….i thought the nurses were suppose to suppot us course some of us cant disclose our statuses on our families becouse we knw how they well treat us
    thank you

  10. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Amine,

    The World Health Organisations recommendations are that everyone who is positive should be on meds. This is regardless of a persons CD4 count. Therefore, if you’re ready to start, then you should start.

    For info about starting please see here:

    http://i-base.info/guides/starting

    The following discusses how to live well with HIV:

    http://i-base.info/guides/side

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