Q and A

Question

How long will I live if I stop taking my medication?

Hi,

I decided that at the beginning of December that I would stop taking my meds for good. I’m in my late 20s and had HIV now for about 2 and a half years. I started meds not long after I found out I was infected.

I went from being negative, to positive and on meds in the space of a year. In Nov my CD4 was just under 500 and my viral load was undetectable for the 1st time. At times I stopped my meds, had to change them and wasnt great at taking them.

Unrelated to HIV my health wasn’t great last year was in a bad accident and wreaked my body. I’ve never been at ease with being on meds hence why I wasn’t great with them in the past but I’ve thought long about this and wont change my mind.

I dont want to live to be old because I wont have a good quality of life so id rather let hiv take me when im young. How long, I know you cant just say oh 1 year 2 years etc to me, but in general terms can I expect to live for?

And what kind of illnesses would I expect to get from the HIV?

I’ve had Hodgkin lymphoma in the past would that be likely to return?

Many thanks.

Answer

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through. I can appreciate it must be extremely hard for you to deal with so much at such a young age. Do you have anybody close to you who is supporting you through all this? Do any of your friends or family know about your HIV status, and have you spoken to anyone about the feelings you are grappling with?

To answer your direct question first, how long someone lives without ART will vary a lot. It might be as little as a few years or it might be much longer. If your CD4 count ever went very low, then HIV is likely to progress more quickly. If your CD4 count has always been high, then it would take longer. Maybe 5 to 8 years on average.

Letting HIV progress without ART would not be an easy or reliable way to end your life. Most to the complications of late stage HIV are very difficult and unpredictable. You can easily research this by looking at the early days before there was ART.

It sounds like you have had a lot of difficult things to deal with and HIV is only one of these. Without commenting on what you decide, the way you are writing sounds very close to someone with depression, which is an illness in itself and this is something that needs its own discussion with your doctor.

Without realising it, depression can take hold after a serious life threatening illness or traumatic event. It is common then to focus on something that seems certain and even better, like an earlier death, when time with a counsellor or advisor might help you see that other options are available, but which you just can’t see by yourself. Again, this is not a comment on the things you say, just something to think about.

Many people find it hard coping with an HIV diagnosis, let alone being diagnosed at such an early age and having to start treatment so soon after. Some people come to terms with it soon after, however, many more people take a long time. You are therefore not alone in feeling this way.

Although you were diagnosed just over 2 and a half years ago, it is still early days. It may take you some time to learn to cope with living with HIV and all that entails. With the right treatment, care and support, most people find that they begin to move on with their lives.

You mention that you don’t want to live to be old because you may not have a good quality of life. The reality is, you can live to be old and have a good quality of life, even with an HIV diagnosis.

The medication we now have available to treat HIV is very effective in enabling people to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. Some of the people I know who were diagnosed in their 20s and 30s are now becoming parents and grandparents.

You asked about how long you can expect to live. Modern HIV treatment (ART) now means that life expectancy for an HIV positive person is the same as an HIV negative person. This means you potentially have a lot of time work through the things that re difficult and to have time to enjoy life.

You mention that you were not adhering very well to your medication. Are there any particular issues that you were concerned with? Was it side effects, or was it just having to take pills? Did you speak to anyone at the hospital about finding it hard to adhere?

A good health advisor could talk about newer HIV meds that might be much easier to take.

Without knowing the details of your other complications, if you have responded well to treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma, you have already been very lucky. The chance of long term remission are similar as if you were HIV negative people. This is about 70% survival at five years, which in oncology is seen as similar to a cure rate.

Your other question was about whether the Hodgkins lymphoma is likely to return. As your CD4 count drops, as it will do when off treatment, this is likely to increase the risk that the Hodgkins could return.

Stopping treatment will mean your CD4 count and viral load are likely to quickly return to levels before you started treatment. If this has always been high, then if the break will help you for psychological reasons, the risks are relatively low. However, if your CD4 cont ever dropped below 350, and definitely if it went much lower, stopping treatment is much more risky.  The risk for Hodgkins to relapse is likely to be higher when you are not on HIV meds, compared to being  on treatment.

You said your CD4 count is about 500 and an undetectable viral load. These are a good indication that the medication was working really well. And that you are healthy.

The BHIVA (British HIV Association) guidelines recommend everyone should starting treatment even at high CD4 counts.

As you are based in the UK, you may find it useful, in the first instance, to chat with one of us over the phone. The i-Base treatment phoneline is 0808 800 6013. It is free from landlines and most UK mobile networks.

Other organisations you might find useful to contact are:

  • Positively UK – They support people living with HIV . They also have a mentoring service which you may find useful.  A mentor will be assigned to you and you can see them regularly over a period of time until you are ready to move on.
  • Body and Soul – they provide support to families living with HIV and have a service specifically for young HIV positive people like yourself.

Note: This answered was updated in April 2023, December 2021 and January 2017 from a question posted in January 2012. The answer was updated to reflect changes in treatment guidelines.

605 comments

  1. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Kenny,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us and for your amazing words of encouragement.

  2. kenny

    On the 31th May 2016, I tested positive to HIV, I did a confirmatory test which also indicated that my CD 4 count was 36 and my viral loard was 11000 000, I felt like my life was over as I tested positive to both HIV-1 and HIV-2. But what kept me going was accepting what I could not change, I thought of my then 1 year old son that I didn’t wanna die and leave behind uncared for, I thought of many thing I wanted to live for, I am a lawyer by profession but I aspire to be a constititional court judge one day and I am currently in my early 30s, I did a lot of research about HIV and found out it is not what many people perceive it to be, this condition only destroys your immunity (immune system) but on its own it cannot kill you, so the key is to protect your immune system from being further destroyed by it and the only way to do that is by being on ARVs treatment, and avoid stress as much as you can. Well I started my treatment, joined gym, started eating healthy food more often, then after 6 months on treatment my CD 4 count went from 36 to 336 and my viral load became undetectable, right now my CD for count is 801 and my viral load is still undetectable.Focus on the positive aspects of your life and the things you still wanna achieve and live for, and remember you can still live the same number of years you would have lived even if you were HIV negative as long as you take your treatment well and avoid stress as much as you can amongst other things. You can, we can, you are not alone in this.

  3. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Ose,

    It sounds like you need some help, do you have a friend who you could talk to? Is there a support group near to where you live?

    From what you’ve said, it sounds like you may have been taking an ARV combination that contains efavirenz. If you were then this could explain why you were feeling like this. Please see Q3 here:

    https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions

    If you can, please book an appointment to see your doctor. Explain to them that you were having issues. Depending on where you live they should offer you a different type of ARV.

    Though life may seem very difficult at the moment, there’s no reason why can’t live a long life. And a life with children and a partner. Coming to terms with your status is part of the process of living with HIV, as too is being on effective treatment.

  4. Ose

    Hi, i am in my 20s and am an HIV patient i just knew that 27/10/2017.. I started medications same date but since 4 months now I have not been taking med or going for check up because I am tired of taking pills just don’t know what to do right now each time I take the pills all I do is dream bad dreams and seeing myself so high as if I’m on cocaine … Life to me now is not worth living anymore because no woman will wanna marry a HIV patient if you open up to her .. Why is life so unfair no future no wife no kid’s no money I think I am dying gradually cos I can’t continue living with this is really frustrating

  5. Roy Trevelion

    Dear Anthony,
    I’m sorry it sounds like you’ve had such a tough experience. Is there someone at the clinic you could talk to? And perhaps your friends just don’t understand. They probably don’t mean to curse you. But is there a doctor or nurse who can help you get through this? Where do you live? There could be people who live locally who can give you support.

  6. Anthony

    Well I have had hiv since I was 8 years old and I didn’t find out until I was 21 when I didn’t feel my self now I have aids and I don’t want to take any medicine I don’t want to live none of my friends know that I’m sick like this when I say to then I don’t feel I’m going to die soon they curse me and say stop acting like that you want attention and the funny thing I don’t I just want then to be aware that it coming soon and no one wants to actually i’m acknowledge maybe I am not lying but the sooner I can go the faster my pain and thought will be at rest as well with my thoughts why would someone do this to a young boy at young age I have to stop writing my heart hurts now

  7. Lisa Thorley

    Hi Deedee,

    As soon as you start medication your body will begin to recover. When are you next able to see your doctor? Are you aware of what your CD4 count is? Please see the following for info about starting meds:
    http://i-base.info/guides/starting

  8. Deedee

    I just found put that I am hiv positive I been having it for 8 months now I have not yet got sick or started my meds yet but I am feeling that my body is getting weak everyday and I am loseing weight I am trying to stay positive about it and move on i suppose to went to the doc to start my meds today but it was a change of plans I am praying that I start my meds soon

  9. Roy Trevelion

    Dear Pam,
    I’m very sorry to hear about your son. Can you talk to the doctors and ask what medicines he can be given now? You can also ask if there is support in the hospice to help him try again with new meds. I hope the hospice can also support you at this difficult time. Is there somebody you can talk to?

  10. Pam

    My son decided that he didn’t want to take any more medicine and now he in hospice and very sick and his cd4 count is very low and lost a lot of weight and now I put depends on him and been diagnose with aids and I was told he don’t have much time to live and question is can he start medicine to help him.

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